You are my Religion
by That Girl55
Summary: And it's funny because Seth Gecko turned out to be the closest thing to God she's got. A series of unrelated drabbles, sethXkate
1. Bloodsport

**A/N - I was writing so much for this couple and at such a rapid rate that I decided to turn it into a series of drabbles instead of individual stories. This was originally titled "Growing Up in Mexico."**

 **Takes place from the time they leave the Titty Twister to about the pilot of the second season.**

 **Song used: Bloodsport by Raleigh Richie.**

 **Warnings: language, drug use, and slight molestation.**

()()()

 _ **"Nothing is perfect but your imperfections are quaint.**_

 _ **And your love is worth it and for that I will wait.**_

 _ **And though you hate me when you have a turn**_

 _ **I drive you crazy but you always return."**_

()()()

In the beginning, Kate had imagined a happier future for them.

Not one that was perfect, mind you, but one that was better than this. One that didn't involve him shooting up every night, one that didn't include him killing every boy that came near her.

Kate imagined a house, not a hotel room, and a little car that they could keep as theirs, one that wasn't getting stolen all the time. She was okay with the stealing, she'd gotten used to it. She'd never admit to it, but she felt like the world owed her, too. Kate wouldn't have looked twice if Seth had set them up in a foreclosed house, or any empty house, or a vacation home while the owners were away - anything would've been better than the same two dingy rooms every day.

She celebrated her eighteenth birthday in those two rooms, the walls green and stained, the bathroom covered in mold, alone. Seth was out finishing his tattoo, at least that's what he told her he was doing. It wasn't his fault, though, she'd never told him. Birthdays didn't matter in a time like this, when you could only sleep when a man ten years your senior (if not more) was beside you, when your brother was definitely going to hell and you found yourself not caring if you went there to.

When Seth looked at her now, it was hard to remember she was still just 17. She had the brain of a child, the imagination to go with it, but Seth found himself enjoying her innocence a bit. For a while, down under the Titty Twister, he thought she would be the last truly pure thing he ever knew. She was in the real world now, and not just that, but his world. The constant stealing and running had hardened her, reminded her of how fragile she really was, he really was.

After a while, she wouldn't let him pull a gig alone anymore, too scared for him, too anxious about being left alone. She thought she understood how the Virgin Mary felt, on a level, being left alone, waiting for her son to come back, waiting to hear if he was alive or dead or not. Kate wondered, if Seth got caught, would she go to the trail? Would she beg and pray and cry over him for ages, like Mary did for her son?

When she was running around with Seth, she had less time to think about these things. He was better at them, too, when she was around. More careful.

"I don't want to hurt the princess," He'd tease, stroking the inside of her thigh through her jeans, not wanting to seem weak. He didn't need a reminder that Kate had sliced him open and reached inside him, picking on his most fragile, sensitive parts, holding them in her hands. He didn't want to tell her that he felt they were safer there than inside him.

She took care of him, the least he could do was make sure she didn't end up with anything more than a bruise while he was around.

Seth remembers the first time Kate did a gig with him, the first time she almost got them caught. Her face sunk, her pretty green eyes widening. The bank teller holding her at gun point looked at her with lust, and she mouthed for Seth to run, to get out of there. Lord knows what they'd do to a gecko in a Mexican prison.

Kate looked older then, she always did when she was scared. He loved that. And, although he hated to admit it, Seth liked seeing Kate scared. She looked towards him, her bottom lip quivering and her hands shaking, like he had all the answers. She expected him to protect her, defend her, save her. He knew he always would.

Kate's captor was too caught up looking at her, tracing his pudgy fingers round her clothed nipples, to notice Seth racing towards him, delivering a swift punch to his jaw, knocking him out cold. Kate looked shaken, but determined not to show it. Her only indication was how she spun around to face the man, napping on the ground, and spit on his face. Seth smiled at her then, putting his arm around her and leading her to the car.

They didn't get far before she was nuzzled up against him, her seatbelt off (she always insisted on wearing one) and her lips pressed against his neck. Her chin pressed into his shoulder, where he'd just gotten more of his tattoo done, and it gave a dull ache, but a good one. He pulled the Chevy Trailblazer to the side of the road, glad they'd upgraded to something bigger, with tinted windows, and put it in park as Kate pulled him towards the backseat.

"Who knew a preacher's daughter could be so pushy?" He teased, helping her get her shirt off.

Seth remembered what the man in there had done to her, touching her like she belonged to him, like Seth wasn't in the room. He sucked on her neck, going back and licking the spot when he was done marking her as his.

"A hickey, really?" She giggled. "What are we, in high school?"

And he blushed but he was so tan and so burnt from the Mexican sun that he was sure she couldn't tell. He continued anyway, making bruises with his lips that trailed all the way down to her core.

Kate lost her virginity in the back of the Trailblazer, Seth asking her if this was okay the whole time. She had lied a few months back, telling him she wasn't a virgin so that he might not feel as bad when this day came. Seth knew she was lying though, he always knew, and it was obvious enough then, anyways.

She was screaming, and the backseat of the Trailblazer was stained with her blood, but it was a good kind of screaming. Seth had heard her cry out in pain and terror, but this was not that - this was _enjoyment_. When he looked at her, she was smiling, and he didn't last very long anyway, once he was inside.

The day they had to get rid of that Trailblazer, they were both a little sentimental.

Seth was sure there were things she wanted, things any preachers daughter would want. She used to mention it in the beginning, the first month of their travels together, before they'd started any kind of relationship beyond longing looks and guilty flirtations. She'd talk about finding a house for them to stay in, instead of the dirty hotels, or about her finding a real job. Kate was waiting for their fairytale ending, for the house in the suburbs and an SUV in the driveway, for her chance to be team mom and head of the PTA. He didn't think he could give her those things, didn't think he deserved to be the one to.

She hadn't brought it up at all, though, since the night they almost got caught, the night the bank teller fondled her breasts and whispered dirty things into her ear, the night she lost all of herself to him. He wondered if she was losing herself in more ways than one, and he wondered if that was a bad thing. Either way, Seth had always kept close what he was his, and he's not about to lose her when he's only just had her.

Nobody was looking for Seth anymore, Richie had taken care of that. As far as Kate knew, no one knew she existed. Her family was just another causality, gone on vacation and never returned. She was still bright, still just as optimistic as that day at the Titty Twister, despite that being months behind them. She was still his sunshine in a world that had gone dark with drugs and thievery and sleep, a world that existed only at night. They existed only at night, when the lack of light would hide how young she really was and could disguise the color of their getaway car, when a lack of headlights could hide them from the police.

Katie was sentimental, though. She would wake up in the early hours of the morning, her internal clock much better than his, and watch the sun rise. She said she was doing it for Scott and her daddy, because they'd never get to see another one. He assumed she was doing it for her mother, too. He'd feel the movement of the bed and wake up as well, watching her in the morning glow. She glowed too, and it wasn't because of the sun.

"You're an angel," he'd mutter, and he'd pull her back into him, kiss her so hard their teeth clinked together and he drew blood from her chapped lips, kiss her until they were gasping for breath, until she wanted nothing but him.

After they fucked, he'd shoot up. It was a new thing ,and she hated it, Seth could see it in her eyes. She wasn't about to say anything. He was a loose cannon when he was mad, especially when drugs were involved, and although she didn't think he'd ever touch her, she didn't want to take any chances. They'd go back to bed then, Seth on his side with his arm wrapped around Kate, falling asleep while she traced his tattoos, her body curved into his.

She said a quick prayer that he'd make it through the night, that he'd make it through all the nights, forever and ever amen. Because forget Scott and Richie and Santanico and all the other Culebras, the only person she wanted to save was him. She was lost in Mexico, robbing banks and driving around in stolen cars and her mother would yell at her for saying that she loved this man, this criminal, but she did and she was too far gone to care. If he died, she died too, and she hated herself for saying that, even if it was just in her head.

Somehow, though, she knew it was the same for him.

Seth was in his own world but he knew that Kate was near him, and he wrapped his arms tighter around her, tucking her beneath his chin. Nothing mattered more than this, not a house or a car or a baby - Seth was what she wanted, what was right.

She wondered briefly if that was what growing up was all about, picking one thing over another and hoping you made the right choice, doing it over and over again and hoping you haven't fucked up. Kate closes her eyes tightly when she gets a headache from thinking too hard, and pulls Seth's hand up to her face, kissing his battered knuckles. They are battered because of her, because she's a pale brunette in the middle of Mexico and, even though she never asked him to, he just wants to keep her safe, keep her his. She smiles at this, breathing him in; it helps her clear her thoughts. Then and only then can she sleep.

()()()

 ** _"And even if you ask me to stop it's too late because I've already decided their fate_**

 ** _It's not a distaste it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works it's way around my brain_**

 ** _Anyway what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker_**

 ** _So don't fight me now cause you might need me later."_**

()()()

 **A/N - I really hoped you all enjoyed this. It took me a while to post because I started writing it and then I wanted to edit and correct a few things. I love putting music to my work and it took me forever to find the perfect song for this because there are sooooo many good ones. Seriously, if you're interested head over to 8tracks because it's probably the best arrangement site I've been on, and there are so many options to chose from of Seth/Katie mixes. Anyways, thanks so much for reading this. xx.**


	2. Hypnotic

**_"Gotta picture in your wallet_**

 ** _Making me a habit_**

 ** _wearing your vintage t shirt"_**

()()()

It was just supposed to be one stupid date, and that was it.

Her new friends from the bar had set her up with him, a usual, trustworthy patron who'd had his eye on her since she popped up there a few months earlier.

It was ironic, Kate going from preacher's daughter to accomplice in armed robbery to exotic dancer, but the last one, at least, was her choice. While Santanico may have been a crazy snake lady and a vampire on top of that, she knew how to work a crowd. In the Titty Twister, she was the main attraction, all eyes on her as she swung her hips, smiling at the truckers and perverts. She wasn't ashamed to be up there, that was her home, in front of all these men, dancing like only she knew how.

Kate figured out soon enough, though, that Santanico wasn't the only one who could dance that way. She found herself at a club in Texas, applying for a bartending position but landing herself a job as the main girl, the lead dancer. A year after leaving Seth, Katie Cakes was no longer so innocent.

That wasn't a bad thing, though. She'd left the last of her shame and insecurities behind when she left Seth, hitchhiking across Mexico, too ashamed and too proud to go to Ranger Gonzales. No, she wanted to do something on her own now, what she should've done right after she left the Titty Twister.

Jamison's teeth clinked against his glass as he took a sip of his coffee. She'd ordered a margarita, and he'd gotten coffee - drinking was, apparently, bad for his heart.

God, he was so old. Well, not too old, probably about Seth's age. But Seth had aged so well, his job helping him keep his youthful body, the Mexican sun keeping him tan and young. Jamison hadn't favored so well. At thirty-nine, he had a pot belly and thinning hair, and had already suffered two marriages and one heart attack.

Oh well, Kate sighed. This is what she got for hinting to the girls at the club that she liked older men.

Dinner had gone well enough, and she'd taken him to a local bar for a drink after - she desperately needed one to get through the rest of this night. Of course, sitting next to an old man drinking a coffee didn't exactly do anything for her self esteem, either.

But the last thing she expected was to see him.

He stumbled over to the seat beside her, a mischievous gleam in his bloodshot eyes.

"This seat taken?"

Kate nearly threw up, her eyes widening as she nodded her head no.

"I didn't expect to see you here," He said, setting his beer on the bar in front of him as he looked her up and down.

She moved to pull down her dress. It was a cute little minidress she'd borrowed from another girl at the club - a little revealing, but at the time she'd thought nothing of it. Her days of killing Culebras had taught her a good bit of self defense, if Jamison decided to pull anything, which was unlikely. But Seth Gecko had a way of making her feel like a child, like she was still lost, wandering around the Titty Twister fighting with creatures sent from hell.

"Nice dress," He scoffed, raising an eyebrow, as if he read her mind.

Kate blushed, red flames gracing her pale cheeks, as her date cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry?" Seth said, gripping his beer tightly, a gesture only Kate knew, a gesture she definitely remembered. "Do you two know each other?"

"I'm her date," Jamison said proudly, happy to appear to have something over this stronger, more attractive man.

"You're fucking kidding, right Kate?" Seth laughed. "Guy looks like fucking Bukowski."

Kate stood still for a minute, shocked that Seth even knew who that was.

Jamison obviously did though, as he stood up and set down his coffee, raising his fists, prepared to fight. This wasn't about Kate anymore, this was about pride.

Kate saw what was happening and also rose to her feet, standing between the two. Seth was still sitting down, as cool and collected as ever. She remembered this tactic, as well.

"C'mon, Seth, this isn't a fair fight. You're drunk."

"I'm a lot more than drunk, princess." He warned her, raising slowly from his seat. "And I'm in a lot better shape than this old fuck."

"You talk a lot," Jamison said, before reaching around Kate and delivering a blow to seth's stomach.

"Shit," Seth mumbled, standing up, regaining his posture. The bartender shot them a look, but Seth ignored it. "Now you've done it."

He shook his head, reaching out and grabbing Jamison's arm, dragging him outside of the bar.

"What the fuck are you doing, Seth?" Katie called, racing after them. "C'mon get your ass back here! Just leave each other alone."

They ignored her, exchanging punches and blows in the alley behind the bar. Seth was obviously drunk and high, which was slowing him down a bit, else Jamison would've been out in seconds. Finally, Seth got a good hit in, and Kate's date went down.

He turned towards her.

"How've you been?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You don't even have the decency to apologize?"

"Didn't look like it wasn't a very good date anyways," He shrugged. Something popped out from behind him, and, instead of being startled, Seth smiled.

They walked over to Jamison and Kate watched in horror as a pair of culebras devoured her date.

Her face glazed over in fear, she thought she was done with this, and she turned to run away. But Seth was there, wasn't he always, and he grabbed her, holding her tightly to them.

"Don't be afraid," He whispered in her ear. "I wouldn't let them hurt you."

"You say it like we want to," One of them remarked, his voice familiar.

"Richie," Kate breathed, her fear present for a different reason now. Before Seth had to protect her from the Titty Twister, he'd had to protect her from his brother.

"And Santanico," Richie nodded, gesturing towards his partner. She stepped into the light, just as beautiful, if not more, as Kate remembered.

"You found them?" Kate turned to Seth.

"They found me," He nodded.

"We found Scott, too." Santanico said gently, biting her lip.

"It's okay, I know." She sighed, shaking her head. "I saw him before I left Mexico. He wouldn't come with me, wouldn't leave the lords in their time of need."

"I'm very sorry," Santanico added, bowing her head.

"As are we," Seth reminded her, gruffly.

"He's a big boy, he can take care of himself." She shrugged her way out of Seth's grasp, leaning against the alley wall and lighting a cigarette. "So, are you going to tell me why you're back?"

"We couldn't destroy the gods," Richie sighed. "So we ran from them instead. Heroic, right?"

Kate shrugged, she understood. They ran from their homes like she ran from hers, from Seth. But home had two feet and a brain in it's head and it was following her.

"We ran into Seth on our way out of the country, stumbling around some bar looking for gear."

"It was a low point, I admit." He sighed, blushing although he tried to hide it. It was obvious he didn't want to talk about it.

"We tried for months to get him clean, to fix him up, but he was-"

"Things were bad, Kate. I was dying." He looked at her then, his eyes telling her that she was right to get away when she did.

"We did what we could," Richie put an arm around Santanico.

"We turned him, Kate. There was no other option."

Kate felt as if all the air had been pushed out of her.

"And, and you were just okay with this?" She stuttered, clutching her cigarette tightly and forgetting to bring it to her mouth, holding it until her finger slipped and she burned herself. "Fuck."

"What did you want me to do, Princess?" He said, looking at the ground. Santanico and Richie looked away for a moment, letting them handle their private matter. "My body, my mind, everything was failing. It was this or death."

"I bet it's a hell of a lot easier to rob banks when you can't die." She muttered, trying to ignore the tears that stung at her eyes.

She'd played this scenario over a million times in her head, how Seth would show up, coincidence or not, and want her back. She thought about how she'd say no, how she'd slap him and hit him and send him on his merry way, back to Mexico or Canada for all she cared. But this was something she never expected.

"You're something I hate, all of you are." She smiled. "You're the very thing that took away my family, the life I could've had."

"I'm sorry," Seth sighed, walking out of the alley. "We shouldn't have come."

His brother followed him then, heading for the car, for their ticket out of Texas. But Santanico stayed, made no move to leave.

Slowly, she walked towards Kate, her eyes raised viciously, but there was no malice in them.

"I'm very sorry we killed your family, and I cannot say that enough. But that is the past." Kate made a move to leave, angered by her words, but Santanico put an arm up, boxing Kate against the wall. "You can make a new family, Kate. You can stay here and find some _humano_ to shack up with, have a couple of babies, raise them, and die an old lady in your bed, clutching the cross. Or, or you can join our family."

"I hate you," Kate said, as if the answer was that obvious.

"No you don't," Santanico shook her head. "You hate what we are. But you love Seth, you cannot deny that, and he is with us now. Believe me, _ninita_ , there is no stronger emotion than love."

The bible told her to beware of monsters and devils and, in context, culebras. But Kate was no more innocent than Seth was, there was a little more blood on his hands but that made no difference.

She thought about the life she wanted, she thought about not having Seth in it.

Kate had been building up to this, this big goodbye scene where she would shut out that part of her life forever - she just hadn't imagined it would come this soon, at such a bad time.

Kate sucked in a breath, prepared to say no, to go back to her apartment and forget this ever happened, but then Santanico spoke again.

"When we tried to get him clean, he cried for you. He hallucinated you, imagined you, whatever it is they do. When we turned him, he screamed your name, cried that you wouldn't him to do this. He was prepared to die for you, Kate. He would've, too, if Richie wasn't so dead set against it. So think about that, Kate, when you're trying to sleep at night. I'm sure you'll account for it, too, when you're trying to get yourself into heaven, _la corista_."

Santanico left the alley, heading for the car. Not a second later, Kate followed her.

She had always belonged to the Gecko Brothers, it had always been just a matter of time before they came to collect their hostage again.

()()()

 _ **"locked up til your moon lit**_

 _ **brushing my hair back**_

 _ **feeling your lips on my cold neck."**_

()()()

 **A/N -** **Songs used: Hypnotic by Zella Day**


	3. Can't Help Falling in Love

**A/N - I was publishing so many of these in such a short time that I've decided to make a collection of drabbles instead. xx.**

 **Songs used: Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley**

()()()

 _"Wise men say only fools rush in."_

()()()

Freddie's losing his mind.

The culebras stalk his house all night, and during the day, too, when they think he doesn't notice them. His family is living with the doors locked and the shutters down and his daughter doesn't know whether it's morning or night, his wife hasn't seen the stars in a week.

Margaret won't leave him, she's ready to fight this with him, to face whatever's haunting their family, but she's definitely not ready to get Billie involved.

He's got no clue who would take her, though. Margaret's parents are dead and his mother's in a home, they don't have any friends they'd trust with her and, on top of that, they don't have a clue about how long they'd be gone.

They need someone to take care of her, someone they'd trust, and so, for the first time in three months, Freddie makes a phone call to Mexico.

()()()

The first time, it rings straight through to voicemail. The second, a groggy voice picks up.

"The fuck do you want?"

Freddie recognizes that voice, and he's not surprised to find Seth Gecko there. As much as he hates the guy, he trusts Kate to make good decisions, and so Seth must have some good in him.

"Put Kate on."

"I'm not waking her, she's fucking sleeping. Do you know what time it is?"

"It's an emergency, put her on."

()()()

They don't go back to sleep after the phone call. Kate shakes Seth awake again and tosses the car keys at him, holding both of their suitcases.

"What is it?" He bolts up in bed, searching the room for culebras, or worse, cops.

"It's Freddie. We need to be at the boarder by sun up, I'll explain on the way."

"I can't go back to the U.S.," he says lightly, hoping that this isn't it for them, that she's not leaving him for a Texas ranger who can promise her a family and a high school diploma.

"I'm not asking you to,"

"Are you-" he wants to ask if she's leaving him, but he can't get the words out. Kate gets it though, she knows him, and she shakes her head no.

Content with that answer, he pulls on his pants and grabs a shirt she left out for him, grabbing the keys and hurrying out the door.

()()()

Kate walks to the border alone. She makes Seth park their car back on the road and she won't let him get out, won't let him follow her.

"Border patrol will be on your ass in a second, Seth." She shook her head. "Just wait here, don't let the car stall. I'll be back in ten minutes."

Seth waited, like she asked him. He fiddled with the radio and revved the engine a few times, wondering when she'd be back, what she was doing.

She wasn't even gone five minutes before she reappeared again, something heavy in her arms, a backpack on, and another bag in her hands.

"The fuck is going on?" He said, once she got closer. "You're smuggling drugs back into Mexico now?"

But then he looked down, saw that whatever was in her arms wasn't marijuana or heroin or some other contraband - it was a baby, and it was crying.

Seths eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat.

"She needed some place to go, Seth." Kate shrugged, avoiding his eyes. "The culebras are after Freddie."

"Yeah, and the cops are after us. Who's in deeper shit here, Kate?"

"It's just for a little bit," she shook her head, bouncing the baby to keep her from crying. "She's almost a year old, Freddie said she sleeps through the night and everything. I'll take care of her, she won't be a bother."

Seth shook his head, holding out his hand for her car seat. Next time he stole a car, he'd have to remember to get an SUV.

()()()

The first night, the goddamn kid won't sleep. She kicks her way out of the bed of pillows Katie's made for her and she's howling with her little fists in the air.

"Goddamn Kate," Seth shook his head. "We're going to get a noise complaint."

"We've got the only room on this row," She shook her head, picking Billie up again, pulling her towards her chest. It was only then that she grew quiet.

Kate walked the room, swaying back and forth, while Seth looked on, needle in his hand as he tried to hit a vein. She watched him, shaking her head - it was like taking care of two kids, instead of one. They both cried at night, both slept in a crib made of pillows to keep them safe, keep them alive.

When Billie started to settle down, Kate switched over so that she could cradle her, holding the baby tightly to her own body. Billie cooed one last time before her mouth grew slack and her eyes closed, and she was out.

Carefully, Kate laid her down on the bed again, praying she wouldn't wake up.

"Finally," Seth groaned, and Kate turned to watch him release the poison into his arm.

She pouted for a moment, spinning on her heel.

"When you get in bed be sure not to lay on her, okay?" She said, heading for the bathroom. "And be quiet."

"Uh huh," Seth said, already lost in his own madness.

Reluctantly, Kate crossed to the shower. She turned it on, leaving the bathroom door wide open, just in case.

The last thing she expected, though, was to have Seth climb in there with her.

His eyes were wild, crazy, and he held her close to him.

"C'mon, we can't do this." She shook her head. "You're high and we'd wake her up."

"So what, there's a kid now and we can't have sex anymore?" He pouted, biting his bottom lip. She closed her eyes, wanting to give in to him, wanting to cave...they'd done it so many times before, what could go wrong now?

Kate moaned, letting Seth pick her up and wrapping herself around him. On her way up, however, she knocked over a bottle of shampoo. It clattered to the ground and Kate pulled back, holding her breath. Billie woke up, of course, and the screaming began.

"Fuck me," Seth sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"You wish," She smiled. "Are you okay to get her? I have shampoo in my hair."

Seth looked at her as if she'd asked him to go back to prison.

"Kate, you're joking, right? I'm high, I'm tired, and that kid hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, she just hasn't gotten to know you yet, she doesn't know either of us. We've just taken her away from her parents, how would you feel if you were her?"

"I'm high, Kate." He shook his head.

"If you're sober enough to have shower sex with me, you're sober enough to put her back to sleep." Kate looked at him, her green eyes wide. "Please? If you don't want to hold her, just lay beside her and rub her back. She'll like that."

Reluctantly he obliged, stepping out of the shower and putting back on his boxers and tank top.

"You usually wear briefs," She noted, poking her head around the shower curtain. "Unless it's laundry day, that is."

"There's usually not a kid around," He shrugged, as if that was his excuse for his looser choice in underwear.

Kate laughed, rinsing her hair out as fast as she could, hoping Seth would be able to handle her for a few moments.

She was wrong, of course, like she usually was when it came to him. She emerged from the bathroom only five minutes later to find Seth passed out on the floor and Billie sobbing in her makeshift crib - he hadn't even made it to the bed.

Kate rolled her eyes, shoving on her clothes and placing pillows around Seth, like she always did, incase he got sick in his sleep. Then she laid beside Billie and calmed her down, tracing the alphabet onto the little girl's back.

Freddie and his wife might not have loved how everything happened tonight, but it was the best they knew how to do.

()()()

Seth figured out quick enough what had happened that night, even though Kate never told him.

He wouldn't touch the baby after that, it was like pulling teeth to get him to keep an eye on her while Kate showered, or shit, or got ready in the morning. Billie was Kate's responsibility anyway, she was the one who'd made the promise to Freddie.

He missed the sex, though. It still happened, of course, but it was faster and quicker than usual because Billie was crawling everywhere now and most of the time she'd cry when Kate was out of her sight, even if Seth was there. Kate had taken to showering with the bathroom door open, or doing her makeup with Billie on her hip. Kate had suggested a couple of times that they leave Billie with a sitter and have some time for themselves, go out alone for once, to a bar, maybe, but they didn't know who to leave her with and Seth was too anxious from the drugs and the Titty Twister to leave her with anyone who hadn't been background checked.

He cared for the little girl, even if he didn't admit it. Kate knew, she saw it in his eyes, or else he would've left the two of them a bunch of money and a way out like he had Vanessa.

Kate wasn't sure if that meant he loved her more or less than his ex-wife.

Two months later and they were still bouncing around from motel to motel, driving around in stolen cars and casing banks. Seth just had to drive his own getaway vehicle, now, and there was an empty carseat in the back and a stroller in the trunk. They hadn't heard from Freddie since last month, but no culebras had come for them or the kid yet, so he took that as a good sign.

Billie had a cold and Kate needed desperately to make a trip to a grocery store and Seth was sitting around planning another bank robbery.

"Please Seth," She begged him. "Billie's going to be so pissed if she doesn't have her formula in the morning. It won't be like before, I promise. She's used to you now, and she's asleep for the night, and I can't take her with me because she's got snot running down her face."

"No," Seth shook his head, wiping his hands on his jeans nervously.

"You're not high either, Seth, so don't try pulling that one. The last time you shot up was last night." Kate bit her lip, looking at Billie. "If I don't go to the store, you have to."

He looked at her with tired eyes and let out a string of curse words.

"Fine," He sighed, throwing the pencil down on the table. "I'll watch her. Just hurry, okay, Kate?"

She grinned at him, grabbing her purse and speeding out of the hotel room. Who knew Seth Gecko's biggest fear was being alone with a baby?

()()()

Kate checked her prepaid as she hustled back towards the motel room.

9:23. She'd hardly been gone a half hour.

Kate pressed her ear to the door, and she didn't hear any crying, so she stood outside alone for a minute, savoring it. She hadn't had time to think in so long, hadn't had time for herself. She shut her eyes and leaned against the door, listening to the sounds of the Mexican night.

And then something creaked from inside the room, a floorboard or something, and Kate jumped. She reached for the door handle in a second, knowing Seth never locked it when he was in there, and swung it open gently.

Kate nearly fell to the floor at what she was seeing.

Seth was walking back and forth across the floor of the motel, Billie in his arms, humming.

Kate watched for a minute, a little grin on her face, before speaking up.

"I didn't peg you as an Elvis fan."

Seth turned to face her, his brows furrowing. Billie was asleep, and here he was, just walking with her, staring at her, letting himself be amazed by her.

"It's a classic." He shrugged, moving towards the bed and setting Billie in her pile of pillows. "You know, we should really get a crib. One of these days she'll fall out of that thing, and Freddie'll kill us."

"Yeah, that'll be our next big gig, stealing a crib from Toys 'R Us."

"Do they have those here?" Seth said, giving her a crooked smile.

"I haven't seen one, but if I do, we'll stop."

They were quiet for a minute as Kate put the grocery bags down, coming to sit beside him on the bed.

"I've been wondering how my dad did it." Seth shook his head. "How he beat Richie and me. He started when I was two, and Richie was three, and that's not much older than Billie, you know? And she's so young, so scared and defenseless, I don't understand how he...how he could do that. Maybe he was fucked in the head, like Richie. Maybe I am, too."

"Richie's not fucked in the head, and neither are you." Kate smiled, leaning against Seth. "I can't believe she woke up, she never wakes up."

"You weren't quiet enough walking out, I guess."

"Blame it on me, why don't you?" She teased, elbowing him in the ribs.

Kate was a tiny thing and her elbow didn't hurt him much, but he pretended like it did. She didn't fall for it, and instead Seth wrapped his arms around her.

"Can we just go to bed? I'm exhausted."

"Of course," She smiled, reaching over and turning off the light, retreating to their twin bed.

Seth settled in behind her, curving his body around hers. They could hear Billie's quiet breathing the next bed over.

It was then that Seth realized this was the first night in months that he'd been able to sleep, really sleep, without using first. He wrapped his arms tighter around Kate, burying his face in her hair like Billie loved to do, and let his exhaustion overcome him.

()()()

 _"Take my hand, take my whole life too."_


	4. Teach Me

**Songs used: Teach Me by Keaton Henson**

()()()

 _"Teach me how to hold you in my arms_

 _without squeezing too damn tight and causing harm."_

()()()

"Seth," Kate coughed, jerking her thumb towards a HELP WANTED sign.

Seth stares at it for a second, at the place that reminds him way too much of Kahuna Burger with the same perky, overeager teenager at the counter. It makes him feel sick.

"Absolutely not, Princess." He shook his head, grabbing her wrist and walking in the other direction. "You know I don't want you working. I don't know who, or what, for that matter, is going to walk in there and make out with you."

"But Seth -"

"I mean think about it, Kate, how many tiny little diners have we stood up? How many convenience store cash registers have we broken, just trying to scrap up enough cash for dinner? It looks safe, right? Like nobody would bother robbing it, or killing the owner or any of that shit, but nowhere is safe." He shook his head.

"You keep me in the motel room like I'm an animal."

"I keep you in the motel room because you're a princess." He rolled his eyes, watching the crowds walk by them, an accusatory expression on his face.

He didn't like this town. It was like a living thing to him, reminding him of other times, other towns that he'd been chased out of. He'd wanted to leave the minute they came, but it was so far off the map that they figured they'd use it to lay low for a while.

She spotted his insecurity from a mile away.

"Aw, Seth," She pouted, brushing his hair behind his ears. It was longer now, his five o'clock shadow turning into a beard. Katie couldn't complain, she liked the way it felt when he rubbed it up against her core. "I'm yours, you know that, right? I'm not going to leave you for some dumb little boy, alright?"

Seth bit his lip and looked away from her, avoiding her eyes. She pulled his face down to meet hers, bringing their lips together. His hands possessively traced around her body, landing firmly in the back pockets of her jeans.

He wasn't so worried about her leaving him as he was about her being taken from him. They'd made lots of enemies both before and after the Titty Twister, all of which would take any chance they had to get back at him. Seth was nervous about culebras, too. About what Richie and Santanico would do to her if they found her - fuck, what Richie would do to her if he was still just a human bothered him.

Kate never asked for his protection, but ever since the night at the Titty Twister, he's felt responsible for her. They'll never move on from this, from each other, and it's all his fault. If he had picked a different motel, a different RV, a different family...

But he didn't. And this is where they were now, standing outside a crowded bar that reminded him a little too much of the one they were trying to leave behind, except this one was in Middle of Nowhere, Mexico. He had his arms wrapped tight around her and she wasn't planning on leaving his grip anytime soon, not that he was complaining. He'd stay like that forever if it was what she wanted.

But it wasn't.

"Let's head back to the motel," She commented, grabbing his hand and pulling him along beside her. "I don't want to fight anymore tonight."

"Just tonight?" He chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"I still want a job, Seth. I want to contribute."

"We'll see," He clucked his tongue. "Not in this town, anyway. Maybe in another one."

()()()

 _"I never loved you enough, my love,_

 _And I'll never hold you close enough."_


	5. In the Pines

**Songs used: In the Pines**

()()()

 _"In the pines, in the pines,_

 _Where the sun don't ever shine._

 _I'll shiver the whole night through."_

()()()

Seth and Kate don't fight. They battle.

Words are flying through the air like bullets and they cut deeper than knives. Someone (usually Seth, occasionally Kate) smashes a lamp or a mirror or something and locks themselves in the bathroom for the night. Seth is never happy until Kate's crying and Kate doesn't stop until her little fists finally bruise him.

They've spent so much time building up a wall against insecurities, against the sadness and the depression that would take over if they let it, that they've let their anger run rampant instead.

()()()

This war is different than the rest.

They're arguing about something so stupid that, at this point, neither of them can remember what it is. They're yelling and screaming and punching the walls when there's a knock on the door.

Seth freezes, remembering the Dew Drop Inn. Kate doesn't have the same memory, though, and she continues to yell, railing on at him.

He shoves a hand over her mouth, cutting her off, and she pulls a move that reminds him all too much of someone else.

She bites him. Hard. Hard enough to send pain shooting throughout his body and blood dripping from his palm.

Seth can't help it, he thinks of Richie.

Kate's eyes grow wide when she sees what she's done, and she unclenches her jaw and retreats to the bathroom. Seth grabs tank top and wraps it around his hand, answering the door.

It was some pimply kid with a name tag pinned to his Slipknot t shirt.

"You've gotten a few noise complaints, man."

Seth slams the door in his face. He's got bigger issues.

The kid doesn't bother knocking again.

()()()

Not fifteen minutes later and Seth knocks on the bathroom door. Inside, he can hear Kate crying. He can hear her praying.

The words coming out of her mouth sound beautiful, pure and honest, like they always do after they fight like this. But Kate biting him, that was new. He hadn't thought she was capable of anything like that, such a childish, immature move. The only things that bit were two year olds and Culebras, and Seth was hoping she was neither.

"Please, Kate," He bangs harder, waiting for it to open, to see her pale, teary face in the green glow of the bathroom fluorescents.

She doesn't answer.

Finally, he walks away.

Seth crosses the room and grabs one of her long sleeve t shirts, ripping off one of the sleeves. It's not like she'll use it in this weather, anyway. He ties it around his hand, and yells back to Kate one last time.

"I'm going out to get us food," He pauses. "I'll lock the door behind me, okay?"

He decides to let her think that he trusts her enough to let her back in. Seth doesn't add that he brought the key, just in case.

()()()

He comes back with Filiberto's and finds the bathroom door open.

Seth lays the two tacos on the bed, hers with quacomole on the side, his without, and crosses to the bathroom.

It is empty. The floor is went like she's just showered, and Seth wonders if she's slipped down the drain along with the water.

When he falls asleep that night, he keeps the door unlocked.

He's wishing for it to open.

()()()

Seth feels her sliding into bed. He opens his eyes and she's there, setting a tequila bottle on the nightstand. She's slipping off her shoes and removing her jeans and her pink panties with the red bows and she's unclipping her bra.

Kate climbs into bed beside him, tucking her body beside his and wrapping his arms around her. In the darkness, he grazes the soft skin of her breast with his t shirt clad hand.

He hears her suck in a breath as she rolls away from him. He doesn't blame her.

()()()

When they wake up in the morning, Seth finishes the tequila and then they head for the car. Kate's in the passenger seat with her sunglasses on and a map in her lap like nothing ever happened, and he can't blame her.

He uses his left hand to drive even though it still stings despite that he's taken the bandage off, and uses his right hand to hold hers.

They don't talk about it, but they don't really _talk_ about anything anymore. They just yell.

()()()

 _"My girl, my girl_

 _Don't lie to me,_

 _Tell me where did you sleep last night?"_


	6. You Don't Know how Lucky you are

**Songs used: You Don't Know how Lucky you are by Keaton Henson**

 _"Does he know who you are?_

 _Does he laugh,_

 _Just to know_

 _What he has?"_

()()()

Kate doesn't think Seth realizes it, but the drugs make him meaner. She doesn't notice it at first either, because when you've been with someone for three months who's a steady heroin user, that kind of stuff often slips your mind. You're too busy checking to see if he's breathing, holding mirrors under his nose and making sure he paces himself, doesn't take too much at once.

Kate thinks he's selfish at first, bringing this into their lives like he did, and then she understands. Seth needs to cope in his own way; the only reason she doesn't want the drugs around is because she's scared she'll lose him - which is pretty selfish, ask just about anyone.

It's little things at first. He used to call her his angel, now she needs to get her head out of the clouds.

"This isn't Bethel, princess." He'd shake his head at her. "You do what you have to to get by."

They didn't discuss why he does most of the bad things for her, anyway. The stealing, the fighting - he doesn't ask whether she wants to be involved or not, he just does it.

He gets on her for the little things, for her goodness and her innocence, for the way she stands too long staring at crime scenes and the way she looks at him like she loves him, even when he claims she shouldn't.

Kate's not bothered. It's the heroin talking, not Seth. But she didn't realize how far gone he was until Rafa showed up.

()()()

She warned Seth he was coming, told him that he was a friend, a friend who wanted to help.

Nodded, seemed okay with it. Kate wondered if it ever really sunk in that Rafa was a guy.

Seth was on edge from the minute he walked into the motel room. Rafa was Kate's age, maybe a little older, and Seth was pretty sure he was a culebra.

These days, he could smell them out before they got too close, it was something in their eyes. Kate, as it seemed, didn't have the same ability.

He grabbed her by her arm and pulls her into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them, pressing his body against it, locking the monster out.

"Do you know, Kate?" Seth said, his eyes menacing, maybe even more so than some culebras.

"Know what?" She batted her eyes, trying to play innocent.

"He's a fucking culebra, that's what." He slammed his hands to either side of the sink, blocking her in.

"He's a friend, Seth. He's here to help." Kate bit her lip, looking up at him through her lashes like a little girl would.

Seth gives in, opens the door and walks out, holding Kate behind him until he knows it's safe.

Rafa is sitting on the bed, hands folded in his lap.

"Are we ready to act like adults now?" He asks calmly, a smile on his face.

()()()

After they talk, Kate walks Rafa to his car.

Even as they walk away from the motel, she can feel Seth's eyes on her, knows he's leaning over the railing, ready to jump into action should she need it.

Kate can take care of herself, he knows that, but with him around she shouldn't have to.

When they're further away Rafa starts talking, turns to Kate with earnest feeling in his eyes and says, "you are not a possession, Katerina. You cannot be owned."

And her widen and she blushes with embarrassment because she was hoping he wouldn't bring it up.

"I'll talk to him, Rafa. We've been through hell and back together, you know? I can forgive him for being a little rough sometimes. He's under a lot of stress."

"He's using a lot of smack, if that's what you mean." Once again, Kate blushes. "Don't lie, I saw the needles and that under a pile of papers."

"He's my family, Rafa." She saids, once again making excuses, trying to justify his decisions.

"He might be, but he's not all you have." Rafa grabbed her hands, holding them in his, acting as if he didn't feel Seth's eyes shooting daggers into them. "If you ever need somewhere to go, Katerina, someplace safe, you know where to find me."

He gets into his truck then, and drives off. Kate feels tears pricking at her eyes because no ones said anything that kind to her since her daddy died.

She hopes one day she'll get to repay the favor. The next day, she knows she never will.

()()()

 _"Does he know where your lips begin?"_


	7. First Reaction After Falling Through Ice

**Songs Used: First Reactions After Falling Through the Ice by La Dispute**

()()()

 _"Picked a safe direction but_

 _You never know the way the ice thins."_

()()()

It's easy to forget when they're together.

It's easy to forget Richie and Scott and the Titty Twister, even though they'd never admit it. It's easy for Seth to forget Vanessa and jail and it's easy for Kate to forget God and Kyle.

They tell so many stories, sometimes they forget what's real.

()()()

The first motel Seth stops at after the Titty Twister is way shadier than the Dew Drop Inn. They pull up in their flashy Camaro and the clerk won't stop eyeing Kate, dozing in the passenger seat with her breasts poking out of her tank top.

Seth wants to punch him.

"My little sister and I have had a rough night." He growls at the man. "Can we get a room?"

The clerk, who's probably in his late fifties, by the way, nods.

"How old's your sister?" He asks as he plucks out a room key. Seth is reminded of a similar scene happening in Psycho, but he shakes it off.

"Too young."

The clerk narrows his eyes, but says nothing. He hands Seth the key.

"Enjoy your stay,"

Seth doesn't respond as he walks away, shaking Kate awake as he drives around back.

They should dump the car soon.

"What?" She grumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

"I got us a room, princess." He stares straight ahead. "And fix your top, will ya?"

()()()

The third motel is one they stop at right after they've pulled a gig. Kate is in ten pounds of dark makeup and a sleazy babydoll dress and six inch heels, so Seth know the sister card they've been using won't work.

"Are you going to pretend to be my pimp?" She giggles, throwing her head back.

Seth's eyes light up for a second - it was a good enough idea.

He marched into the lobby, Kate attached to his arm, and said simply, "we need a room."

He offered no other information.

The clerk, a young girl this time, took one look at Kate and passed over a key.

She knew better than to ask.

()()()

A while later and they've lost track of the number of motels they've been in, but they've been on the road for about a year now, when Seth pulls the wife card.

Kate's been lots of things before - girlfriend, fiancee - but never that. Wife was special to him, especially because he swore he'd never take another one, not after Vanessa.

"What was that about?" Kate asks as they walk towards their room, comfortable enough with him now to ask questions like that.

"You're growing up, Katie Cakes," He teased, poking her in the hip. "You're too old and too beautiful for me to keep passing you off as my little sister."

She blushes then, she pretends it didn't happen.

Seth accepts it, wondering if he's pushed too far.

When they get into the room and she grabs him by the collar of his bible salesman suit, he knows he hasn't.

He kisses her like she's his wife, she kisses him like he's her lifeline.

()()()

They don't like to think about the circumstances that brought them together, they just like to remember that they _are_ together. The stories they tell are lies, but the way they hold each other up isn't.

()()()

 _"Because I thought it might scare you,_

 _To see me under the ice,_

 _Make you remember you cared for me._

 _What would you do if I died?"_


	8. High by the Beach

**Songs Used: High by the Beach by Lana Del Rey**

()()()

 _"You could be a bad motherfucker_

 _But that don't make you a man."_

()()()

Kate Fuller was a pretty girl.

Back in Bethel, being a brown-haired, green eyed preacher's daughter was nothing special. There were dozens of other girls like her - Kate felt like she'd lucked out with Kyle, in fact. The other girls wanted him, sure, but she had him wrapped around her finger.

They didn't get many teenage American girls wandering around La Pesca, however. Boys, teenage and otherwise, stared at her like she was Santanico, walking onto the stage for a performance.

It wasn't long before she was asked out on a date. It wasn't long after that she gained the courage to say yes.

()()()

"Seth?" Kate called, poking her head out of the bathroom. Seth was sitting on the bed, watching the TV, but not really seeing it. His mind was somewhere else. "Can you look at me for a second? Does this match okay?"

Biting his lip, he turned to see Kate in a pair of white lace shorts with a black tank top tucked in. She teetered in black wedges, and her little toenails were painted pink. Seth didn't have to check to know that her fingers matched it. Her makeup was darker than he was used to, bringing out the edges, the angles in her face.

She reminded him of the girls at the Titty Twister, but he wasn't about to say that.

"You look fine," He nodded, turning back to the TV.

"Are you sure, Seth?" Kate pouted, crossing to stand in front of the TV, blocking his view. "C'mon, I want to look good. I haven't been on a date since Kyle."

"I said you look fine, Kate. What else do you want me to say?"

She shrugged, turning her head down to look at the floor. Seth sighed, running a hand through his hair and standing up.

"I"m going out, Kate."

"Where are you going?" She said anxiously, nervously. "You know, in case I need you."

"You've slain vampires before, but you can't handle a first date?" He snickered, but his eyes were soft. "I'll probably be at the shore, if you need me."

"Okay," She nodded, deciding not to press any more.

She didn't have to, as Seth walked out the door.

()()()

Pot was easy to come by in Mexico. For one thing, "personal use" was totally legal. Seth sat on a rock in the sand, his jeans rolled up and his jacket beside him, rolling a fatty.

He was going to need it.

"Here's to Katie Cakes." He said, taking a swig from his bottle of Authentic Mexican Tequila and toasting towards the sky, towards Paster Fuller. "Our little girl's growing up."

Seth had lost his lighter a while ago, somewhere back at the Titty Twister, probably, and he pulled out a book of matches he'd gotten for free, using that to light his joint.

He took a long drag.

()()()

Kate wasn't on a beach.

She was in the back of a stranger's car, watching him as he rolled "a little something for them to share." It was supposed to relax her, he'd said. And, after what she'd been through, Kate figured she could use a little de-stressor.

It wasn't until he lit it, though, that Kate figured out what it was.

"You want?" He offered, his english crude and hard to understand. He offered her the brown _thing_ , waiting to see her reaction. "You American girls always want."

She saw her Daddy's face and she wanted to say no. She saw Seth's face and she felt pressured to say yes.

In the end, she took it in her hand. If vampires couldn't kill her, this certainly wouldn't.

"Si," She smiled, coughing as he inhaled.

()()()

By the end of the date, the boy had turned out to be a dick.

He'd stereotyped her and judged her, especially after he spotted the silver cross around her neck. He'd blasphemed and cursed and, in the end, Kate had him take her home early.

But they didn't make it that far.

"Stupid American," The boy cursed, spitting at her as he kicked her out by the La Pesca shore.

She giggled as she hopped out of his car, waving goodbye to him. She felt like a prostitute, getting picked up on the beach, getting left on the beach, living on the beach.

Kate saw a police car drive by and felt her heart clench up momentarily - she'd forgotten she was in Mexico, that this was legal here.

She laughed again, throwing her head back in hysterics. Then she went to cool off in the water.

()()()

Seth sighed as he looked at the working girls, the ones who hung out on the beach.

They were too thin and too tall, they held within them the reminents of girls who were once beautiful, once hopeful and young. Now, the beach and the drugs were all they had left.

In a way, they reminded Seth of himself.

He laughed.

One of them was teetering in too-high heels, dumb enough to leave them on as she made her way across the sand. She looked to be in better shape than the others - still young, still had that glow about her that let you know how innocent she really was. And then Seth recognized her.

"Kate?" He muttered, standing up and running over.

The girl standing in front of him, hair mused and eyes red, mouth slack, was Kate. She was smiling, though she looked to be in pain.

"What the fuck happened?" He sputtered, grabbing her arm and looking around. "I thought you were on a date?"

"I was, he kicked me out of the car." She said, pouting. "He said he didn't believe in God, Seth."

"Classy guy, didn't even bring you back to the motel first." Seth shook his head, collecting his things and heading for the street. "Something's different about you, Kate. I just can't put my finger on it."

He looked her up and down, searching for what it was, until it finally came to him.

"Oh my god, you're high."

And then he laughed. And he didn't stop, not until Kate joined in.

"The preacher's daughter is high as a kite, who would've known?" Seth smiled at her, guiding her back to the hotel. He made sure to walk on the right side of the sidewalk, closest to the street, incase she decided to feel invincible for a moment.

"Don't laugh," She grinned. "It feels good, really good."

"Good, Princess," He smiled, putting an arm around her. "I want you to feel good."

The waves broke behind them, the sand running between their toes.

"You're amazing," She told him, looking up with big, wide eyes. "Thank you for taking me home. I don't think I could've found it on my own."

"I'll always take you home."

()()()

 _"We won't survive, we're sinking into the sand."_


	9. Do I Wanna Know?

**A/N - All these SonjaXSeth scenes are making me super excited for the Seth and Kate reunion! Because, let's be honest, it's got to happen eventually. xx.**

 **Songs Used: Do I wanna Know? by Artic Monkeys**

()()()

 _"Have you no idea that you're in deep?_

 _I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week."_

()()()

When Seth sees her again, he doesn't like how she's changed.

Her hair is long, held back by an elastic. She's got on a white tank top that's riding up, and a pair of shorts that would've put her father to shame. He's lived with her for three months, but in the six she's been away he's seem to have forgotten how long of legs she's got.

She's bartending at a place in the middle of Durango and, quite frankly, he's surprised she hasn't gone back to America yet. He knew she hated the sun in Mexico - loved the way it felt, hated the way it burned her fair skin.

But she was still here, still smiling in that wide way of hers, her eyes too bright and too beautiful.

Seth was staring at her, and she hadn't spotted him yet. He debated on leaving, walking back out, for a moment, but he was curious about her new life, her new job.

Besides, Seth Gecko had walked in here for a beer, and he wasn't leaving until he got one.

"A corona, please." He said, walking up to the bar with a smile.

To his luck, the place was empty. There were a couple of older patrons hanging around, all sitting a few seats away from each other, most likely on siesta. They were eyeing him and Kate in a way that seemed defensive, as if he posed a threat to their little barmaid.

Kate finally turned to him, her eyes widening as she recognized his face. She looked around her, as if asking for another bartender to take his order, but found no one.

She closed her eyes, testing if this was a dream or not, and then opened them again. He was still there, still smiling.

Kate pouted, getting him his Corona.

He gave her the money, signaling for her to keep the change, and took a long swig, staring at her. He was waiting for her to talk, waiting for her to make the first move. She didn't disappoint.

"You shaved your beard," She said, making polite conversation as she fiddled with her chipped nail polish.

"A few months ago," He nodded.

"That's too bad, I always liked it."

Another patron called for her, requesting a second drink, and she moved to help him.

Seth checked the clock above the bar. He hadn't pulled a robbery more than a day ago; he hadn't dumped the car yet and he needed to keep moving, but for Kate, he would risk it.

An older man approached him, nudging him gently on the shoulder.

"Kate doesn't get off until ten tonight," The man smiled, nodding towards Kate. "She always works through siesta, so she'll be here."

Seth nodded, clapping the man on the shoulder in thanks.

When Kate returned to continue their conversation, Seth, and his Corona, were gone.

()()()

The place was packed at night.

It was a tiny bar and at nine o'clock it seemed to be filled to capacity.

Kate looked exhausted, her eyeliner fading and her hair curly in the heat, but she was exuberant, happy to be there. Seth was glad she'd picked a place like this - most of the customers were older, and they seemed to know her, to look after her. He watched from behind a pillar as she talked with them, with their wives. For a little extra cash, Kate even participated in a dart-throwing tournament, holding the target above her head like she'd done for Richie so many months before.

It made Seth's stomach churn, but he said nothing.

Another girl entered the bar a few minutes before ten. She looked young, maybe even more than Kate, but she clapped the girl on the shoulder and started taking over at the bar. Kate smiled, waving goodbye to her friends and walking towards the backroom to get her things.

Seth decided to wait outside.

()()()

He lit up as he stood there, leaning against the grey El Camino. He remembered Kate's fascination with older cars, with the way they ran, the sounds they made. He remembered hearing her giggle when she first heard the ancient Cadillac they'd picked up purr.

Seth had kept that in mind when he'd stolen this one.

Kate walked out, her eyes scanning over the parking lot. Seth wasn't sure if the man from before had tipped her or not, but she knew he was there, waiting.

Her car keys jingled in her hands as she walked towards him, smiling. She wasn't afraid of him any more, if she ever was.

"Seth Gecko, what brings you back here?"

"I wanted to see you," He said blankly, his eyes dark. "Working at a bar, huh? What would your father say?"

"He'd be okay with it, just as long as I wasn't drinking myself into happiness like he was." She shrugged, biting her nails. She looked up at him, like she did when she was younger, when they were all the other knew. "Speaking of, do you want to get a drink? I know a different place we can go, where we won't be bothered."

"Sure," He nodded, jerking a thumb back at the bar. "They're all pretty friendly in there, they like you."

"They're good to me," She smiled, hugging herself as she led him to her car. "I don't mind."

()()()

She took him back to a motel not far from the bar.

It wasn't as horrible as some of the places he'd stayed in, but it definitely wasn't home.

Kate's clothes were still packed, her makeup and toothbrush in its' bag on the bathroom sink, her coat by the door. She was ready to leave at any moment; Seth didn't let that slip his mind.

Kate reached into the fridge, pulling out two Carta Blancas and handing one to him.

"Let's go to the pool," She shrugged, pulling on her jean jacket to guard against the chilly night air and leading him out of the room.

She was still comfortable with him, as if she'd never left, as if he'd never asked her to. He wondered if that would ever change, or if, in another six months or so, she'd still bring him back to her motel room, still offer him a drink and a dip in the pool.

They sat on the lounge chairs, Katie laying on her stomach, staring at Seth, who sat on his. His posture was shit from driving so much, but Kate pretended not to notice.

"Do you think of me often?" She giggled, batting her eyes and smiling at him.

Half a beer, maybe less, and she was already tipsy. His princess was a lightweight, that hadn't changed.

"Maybe," He said, because the truth was too heavy.

Really he'd been thinking about her the whole time. He imagined her in the passenger seat when he drove, even talked to her sometimes. He'd turn up the radio, trying to remember what it was like when she sang along. When he fucked Sonja, he pretended to be fucking her. He wondered what she was doing, where she was. He wondered if she thought of him, if she needed him like he needed her.

Seeing her now confirmed it - he always needed her more.

But all of that was too heavy to confess drunk on a Tuesday night after you haven't seen each other in six months, so Seth went for a lighter response.

"What about you, Princess?" Seth asked, barely realizing he'd let the nickname slip. "Did you think about me?"

"Sometimes." She nodded, her words slurred, her voice rough with honesty. "When I was bartending, yeah. But not just of you, of Scott and Richie and those fucking vampires, too. I remembered Carta Blanca was your favorite beer, so I brought some, like I expected it to bring you back to me for some weird, shitty reason. I barely drank 'em though, they make me sick."

"You're drinking one right now, Kate." He laughed, looking at her like she was crazy.

"I know," She hiccuped, giggling. "And I'm going to regret it later."

Kate had seemed so different in the bar, so changed from the person that he knew, that to have her drunk and lounging in a chair by the pool was a relief.

She was still his princess, the angel on his shoulder. And she was still his home, whether she knew it or not.

By the end of her first beer, Kate was half asleep. He laughed at her, picking her up and taking her back to her hotel room. Carta Blanca didn't even have that much alcohol in it.

"Are you going to spend the night?" She asked him, her head rolling on to his shoulder as he fumbled with the door to the room.

Her question was more of an invite, and it made Seth freeze. Motel rooms with two beds were hell to find, and for three months after the Titty Twister Seth and her had slept in the same one. If they could get two beds, the other person was only an arm's length away, and they could reach over and grab onto their security blanket if they needed it.

Seth wondered if the nights spent alone were as hard for her as they were for him. He wondered if she'd found solace in another person, like he had with Sonja. But, looking at her eyes, he couldn't find the strength to ask.

"Spend the night, Seth." She said, more firmly this time.

"Of course," He nodded, trying not to stutter.

He laid her gently on the bed and turned to lock the deadbolt on the door. By the time he'd taken his shoes off and climbed in beside her, she was already under the covers.

It was awkward at first, he didn't know where to put his hands and Kate was tossing and turning, fighting to get comfortable.

"Sleep, Kate." He said gently, putting an arm on her shoulder.

"It's been six fucking months," He winced as she cursed, still not used to it. "I want to talk to you, I want to know what you did, I want to tell you want I did. I want to know everything."

"Tomorrow," He whispered in her ear, his five o'clock shadow grazing against it.

"Seth," She asked, after a few beats.

"Hm?"

"Can you grow your beard back out again?"

"We'll see."

For a moment, it was like they had never left.

()()()

 _"Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for someone new."_


	10. Slide

**Warnings: a tiny bit of smut.**

 **Songs used: Slide by The Goo Goo Dolls**

()()()

 _"Could you whisper in my ear_

 _The things you wanna feel?"_

()()()

She likes the way he looks when he's just woken up in the morning. He scratches his face where a beard is steadily growing and he rolls over, burying his face deeper into the pillows, hiding from the light.

He's always up late, casing another job, shooting up or getting drunk, and Kate is always awake before him.

She showers twice, before she goes to bed and when she wakes up in the morning. He thinks it's crazy, but it's not his water she's wasting. He likes to watch her, too.

She emerges from the bathroom in a cloud of water vapor with her hair wrapped in a towel, and she goes to the windows and yanks back the shades, some days she'll even open the door. After the Titty Twister, Kate isn't too fond of the dark. She's at her happiest when the sun is in the sky, Seth's noticed that. She's noticed that, if he can, he usually requests a room facing the East.

Seth pretends to be asleep, something he's gotten good at over the years, while she stares at him for a moment, the light from the windows morphing around her, making her look like something ethereal and angelic. For five seconds of every morning, Seth believes he's shot up one time too many and he's gone to heaven.

But then reality sets in and Seth remembers who Kate really is, who he is. She's an angel all right, but she's falling fast, and he's coming down from the high of his lifetime.

She turns away from him and, if she knows he's awake, she gives no sign of it. She goes back to the bathroom, yanking her hair out of the towel and putting on some mascara. Unless he's taking her on a date, that's the only makeup she wears.

It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep again, staring at her.

()()()

He wakes up to the smell of fried eggs. She tosses a greasy bag at him and plops down on the other side of the bed, munching on her own breakfast.

Kate isn't too fond of fried food, so she gets an omelet.

Seth sits up, moving to settle in beside her. Subconsciously, she leans into him. A couple minutes later she places her hand on his thigh and Seth can't help himself, he tosses his untouched eggs onto the floor and climbs on top of Kate, watching her eyes widen with surprise.

She grins as she yanks his shirt off and Seth tries to be gentle, to avoid ripping hers because the last time he did that he got an earful. It turns out to be okay though, because Kate helps him. It doesn't take long for them when they're with each other, and the extensive foreplay that existed the first couple of times is no longer necessary.

He starts at her lip, kissing down her stomach, nipping at her belly button, before setting himself on top of her.

Seth plunges into her, and she doesn't cry like she used to. This Kate is different, harder - she's still his angel, still good, but in a different way now. His princess grips his shoulders as he rides her, her sharp nails leaving marks on his back, but neither of them last long.

They're huffing and puffing as they finish, both their bodies slick with sweat. Seth reaches for his eggs, and Kate finishes off her breakfast.

She won't look at him, keeps biting her nails like they're going to bite back, and her body is rigid.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice still heavy from sleeping. It's the first words they've spoken all morning, and it's fitting.

There's a pause, and then he hears her sniffle.

He reaches up, trying to hug her, to touch her, to pull her into him. She resists.

"I'm pregnant," She mumbles, her eyes shut because she doesn't want to see his reaction. "I took a test this morning, while you were still sleeping."

Seth can see her angel wings falling to her feet.

()()()

 _"What you feel is what you are_

 _And what you are is beautiful."_


	11. Smother

**A/N- sorry about the last upload, something about it wasn't right. Hopefully I've gotten it right this time :) xx.**

 **Songs used: Smother by Daughter**

()()()

 _"I want all that is not mine._

 _I want him but we're not right."_

()()()

Kate thinks, often, about how her life could've gone in a very different direction.

When she's bored enough, she goes back to the very beginning, to where things first started to go bad. She goes back to when Mama started getting her migraines, started spending her whole day in bed, alone, instead of with the congregation.

Kate hasn't set foot in a church in 6 months, and she wonders what her mama would think of her now.

She doesn't dwell on that, though. Kate's still a good girl, still says her prayers every night, still wears that cross around her neck.

It's hard to remember that far back, so Kate settles for remember six months ago, for taking the wheel earlier, for steering herself and her family far, far away from the Dew Drop Inn and any trace of the Gecko brothers. If she can, Kate tries to imagine that they hadn't gone on this trip at all.

She thinks about her senior year a lot, about the classes she'd signed up for but never gotten to attend, about the homecoming dress she'd buy, about the cute way Kyle would ask her. Her best friend, Stephanie, was already engaged by the time Daddy had decided to skip town. Kate hoped that, should she have stayed, Kyle would've proposed, too.

Daddy wouldn't have been thrilled, but he wouldn't have said anything. They married young in the south, he respected that. Kyle would start a Christian Rock band like he'd always talked about and Kate would finish up at the community college; being smart was always Scott's thing, anyways.

After she'd graduated they'd get a tiny apartment and a newer truck and they'd spend Sunday's at church with their family. She'd announce she was pregnant a few months after she'd gotten her associates, and their families would be elated. Kate never wanted to be much, no high aspirations or any of that. She wanted to be a mother. Better yet, she wanted to be her mother.

The baby would come in the heat of the summer just like Scott had, and her father would be pacing in the living room and Kyle would be clutching her hand. Her arms would shake as she held her child, but she would never drop him. The first one would be a boy. She'd always wanted a boy, someone who would protect his little sisters, and maybe even her one day.

()()()

Instead, she got this. Kate opens her eyes and see in the middle of the fucking desert.

(It's not a strange occurrence for her to cuss now, so much that she does it without thinking)

The sun is beating down on her face and she's sure she'll be sunburnt after this escapade. There's blood all around her fingernails and her Coors Light t shirt has a tear around its frayed edges. Her cutoffs are too short and she's coughing up dust and her breath smells like beer. She wonders how she got here. Not to this place, to this desert, but to this life.

Kate's got a big teal van parked beside her and she pulls herself up, bangs on the side of it. The door opens on its own. It's hotter in here than it was outside, and Kate questions how the occupant hasn't melted yet as she leans against the open door, nudging him with the toe of her boot.

"I can't believe you let me sleep in the desert," she laughed, rolling her eyes when she saw that he was awake. "I could've died, dammit."

"Yeah, well, you could've died in here, too." Seth sits up, itching the back of his head. "Fuck, I'll be surprised if we aren't dead."

"If we are, this isn't heaven." She snorted, fingering the cross she refused to take off.

"Did you have a good dream, Princess?" He smiled at her snakily, making no move to pull his shirt over his wife beater. "You only sleepwalk when you dream."

"I think I did," she nodded, climbing in the van and making her way to the passenger seat. "Only I can't remember a goddamn thing about it."

She located a bottle of water and, gross as it was, took a few swigs. It tasted like plastic, but it wasn't as terrible as some of the drinks Seth had had her try.

Seth crawled up beside her, giving her a kiss on the cheek before sliding the keys into the ignition. He fumbled with the air conditioning, wishing he'd stolen a car with a better one. In the end, they rolled down the windows.

"I'm sorry I got us lost last night, Kate." He sighed, truly apologetic for having her spend the night pulled by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. "On the bright side, we haven't run out of gas yet."

Kate rolled her eyes, reaching an arm out the window and knocking on the wood paneling that lined the van.

"You better not make me walk, Seth Gecko."

"I'll do my best, Kate Fuller."

She winced, but tried to hide it. Kate didn't know how to tell anyone this, but Kate Fuller didn't feel like Kate Fuller anymore.

She fumbles with the cross around her neck. If she's been to hell, that means there must be a heaven, too. She's just not so sure she deserves to go there anymore.

()()()

 _"In the darkness, I will meet my creators_

 _They will all agree that I'm a suffocator."_


	12. Meds

**Songs used: Meds by Placebo**

()()()

 _"Trying my best not to forget,_

 _What happened to us?_

 _What happened to me?_ _"_

()()()

Kate's favorite seat is on top of the bathroom counter, perched there like a bird. It's where she does her makeup in the morning, it's where she paints her nails and brushes her teeth. Her bum goes on the corner, balancing on the ledge, and her feet rest on top of the back of the toilet, holding her in place.

()()()

Seth's least favorite seat is the bathroom floor.

It's where he lands when he doesn't dry off after getting out of the shower, like Kate told him to. It's where he ends up when he's trying to get high, when he can't find a vein or his hands are shaking too hard. It's where he goes to live, and it'll be where he goes to die.

()()()

The bathrooms all look the same, all white washed and clean, but drowning in the green of the flickering lights. Their lives look so different with every one they enter.

With each passing bathroom, each hotel room, Kate moves closer to God, while Seth moves farther away. More than once he's found her praying over him, kneeling beside his body as if she was giving him the final rite. Seth didn't know his prayers, so he wasn't entirely sure that she wasn't.

Sometimes, Seth wonders if she wishes he was dead. It wasn't far-fetched, after all, Kate had started out as his hostage. He'd almost gotten her killed, and her first response was to forgive him, to run away with him? Kate had crawled right into his arms like he was Kyle, or her dad, or any other man than himself. She came to him like he was safe.

()()()

The first time he fucked her was the first time he'd tried heroin, and his whole body was shaking and, quite frankly, he was surprised he was able to get it up. He'd always heard heroin took away your libido, guess it didn't work right away. He wondered if she knew, if she saw the mark the needle had left, if she'd seen it in his eyes. If she had, she didn't say anything.

()()()

He liked the drugs, they made him feel better. She liked God because it made her feel better, even if the mass was in Spanish and she didn't like the way they pronounced Jesus. He was still her God, and "La Buena" was Seth's. Who was he to deny her that?

()()()

They'd pull up to a new hotel, each one worse than the last, and Seth would go to the bathroom to worship. When he was done, Kate would come in and take a shower, put on her makeup, and head out the door in search of a church that had bits of English in evening mass. The farther south they went, the harder that was to find.

No matter what town they went to, though, Seth always found his junk. Ironically, smack was easier to come by then God - that's probably why Seth close to medicate himself on it, anyway.

Kate needs God to forget, to forget the hell that she's been living in for the past three months, and Seth needs smack to remember, to feel the way he used to when he was a kid, before the world came crashing over his head.

He'd picked his poison, and Kate had chosen hers, and it wasn't his fault if his lead to death and hers' to eternal life.

()()()

Seth looks at Kate as she draws her legs closer to her chest, as she teeters like a man on a wire.

He tells her she's going to fall.

She shrugs him off, and Seth knows it's because she has wings. These huge, white and fluttery angel wings are sprouting from her back, and they will carry her to safety without too many bruises.

Seth laughs as he reaches out to touch them, can feel the feathers against his calloused fingertips. Kate looks at him, a tired feeling in her eyes, and that's how he knows he's high.

Seth thinks that, although Kate wouldn't need him to, he'll be there to catch her when she falls. Somehow, he doubts she feels the same about him.

He wanted to be done caring about people, especially after Richie, but he can't help himself. Seth thinks of himself as a lion, and Kate as a lamb, and then he realizes he's referencing Twilight and he falls down in a fit of laughter onto the bathroom floor.

Pissed, Kate saunters out of the bathroom and searches for her shoes.

"Going to find God again?" He yells after her, though it comes out hoarse and wrong.

He's asleep before she can respond.

()()()

 _"And the sex, and the drugs, and the complications."_


	13. Stay Happy There

**A/N- This chapter only happened because of my little sister's Grey's Anatomy. Totally inspired by "Dr. Yang and my wife are very close, sometimes they have sleepovers in my bed, with me in it."**

 **Whether the series officially admits it or not, Santanico is totally Kate's person and I have a series Grey's addiction now.**

 **Sorry for the rant.**

 **This takes place after Kate leaves Seth, theorizing that they haven't seen each other for something like a year now. It goes slightly AU in that Seth hasn't met up with Richie or Santanico and has basically spent the last year robbing banks and shacking up with Sonja. xx.**

 **Warnings: Abuse.**

 **Songs used: Stay Happy There by La Dispute and SOB by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats**

()()()

 _"I know you were getting tired of my drinking_

 _Maybe I was never cut out for the coke scene_

 _You were worried I would end up like your father."_

()()()

Seth's hands were shaking as he walked up to the bar, ordered himself a drink. There was a cut healing above his eyebrow and his lip was split, and Sonja was on his mind.

She blamed him for the breakup, blamed it on his fascination with Kate, with his brother and the past he couldn't seem to shake, couldn't seem to tell her about. Of course, Sonja couldn't send him away from a year long relationship with nothing - so she split his lip first.

The cut above his eyebrow was from a different fight.

()()()

Kate's hands were full as she kicked the car door closed, already tipsy, already giggling.

" _Bebita_ ," Santanico scolded, holding open the front door for her. "Don't tell me you're drunk already!

Kate shook her head, but she burst out in laughter and extended to Nica a mostly-full bottle of Smirnoff. A grin breaking out on her face, Santanico laughed as well.

"You've really fallen fall, Kate Fuller."

"I haven't landed yet," She winked at her friend, allowing herself to be pulled into the fancy house.

The Lords were defeated sometime last spring, six months ago, before Kate came across Richie. Or, more likely, Richie came across her. She was working as a waitress in a 24 hour diner and he took her after her shift, bringing her to a big house on the other side of town. He didn't hurt her, didn't even try to, but he questioned her about Seth.

As it turned out, neither of them had seen him in a long time.

It was then that Santanico stepped in, apologizing for Richie's bluntness, his harsh ways, as if she could see how it hurt Kate. While Richie mourned the temporary loss of his brother, Santanico offered to drive Kate home.

When she saw how the girl was living, a tiny, rat infested apartment, she made Kate pack her things.

Santanico couldn't help the other culebras, couldn't help save those people back at the Titty Twister, but she could help Kate Fuller. She'd ruined the girl's life - the least she could do was offer her a home.

But, as it turned out, Kate never left. The girls were inseparable after a week, and eventually even Richie became bearable.

Kate had found the exact thing she was looking for - family.

Seth rounded the corner in his suit, so Kate knew something was up.

"Going somewhere, _Amor mio_?" Santanico purred as she threw her arms around him.

"There's too much estrogen in this house! Besides, you two need a girls night. It's been what, three days since your last sleepover?" He chuckled, turning to look at Kate. "I'm going to grab a bite to eat - take care of each other, will ya? And Kate, no more drunk driving."

"Yes sir," She chuckled, saluting him.

They had an easy friendship now, one formed by a shared bond over the past, over a shared love for Santanico.

Kate moved to the kitchen, allowing Santanico and Richie to have a private goodbye.

Kate was already finished half the Smirnoff by the time Nica rounded the corner.

" _Ay dos mio!_ " Santanico exclaimed, shaking her head at Kate reaching for a pair of shot glasses out of a cabinet. "You're a little alcoholic tonight, aren't you?"

"I have a bad feeling," Kate mumbled. "I'm going to drink it away."

()()()

By the time Seth saw him, it was too late.

He was four shots deep and he was starting to move slow, starting to see double. He wouldn't have been able to get away in time, so he thought it better to wait it out.

Sonja just had to break up with him in this town?

Richie was beside him in a second, smiling, ordering the same vodka and tonic he always got.

"How've you been?" Richie asked him, oh so casually. As if the brothers hadn't been separated for over a year now.

"Alright," Seth responded, trying to calm down, to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. "What brings you out tonight?"

Richie snickers, because it's obvious, and Seth knows it's obvious, but he wants to hear him say it.

"Hunger," Richie smiles, licking his lips and looking around the bar.

Seth huffs, but after a moment he notices a change in Richie's eyes, the way he carries himself. There is a softening about him.

"Hunger, and, well, something else." He laughs in a way that reminds seth of how close they used to be, how many secrets they used to share. "I have something to show you, Seth."

"You're lucky I don't kill you." Seth spat at him. "Kill you like I do all the others."

"I think you would, too, but I've got something of yours, something that desperately wants to get back to you." Richie smiles and Seth wants him to be talking about Sonja, because if it's not Sonja, then it's Kate.

Oh God, Kate. If Richie's had her to himself for longer than a day she'll probably be traumatized, scared to death of him, of any man.

"What is it?" Seth asks desperately, and Richie realizes he's pleading. For the first time in years, Richie has the upper hand. And he plans to play it.

"I need you to sober up first, Seth." Richie smiles, grabbing Seth by the collar, leading him out of the bar and towards the car. "We'll stop for coffee on the way."

()()()

Richie won't talk the whole drive and, by the time they pull up to a huge house in the middle of the desert, Seth is fucking terrified.

His hands are shaking and it's no longer out of anger, but fear.

Richie pulls the car, a nice, vintage thing, into the garage so Seth knows he probably lives here, or at least pretends to. Richie's a nomad, a bit of a loner, so it was strange to imagine him living in this house just outside of a town, not an hour away from the populated bar Seth was in.

He guessed that, when you're a vampire, you need to be surrounded by good feeding grounds. Towns and cities with lots of tourists, they were good for that.

After two cups of coffee and a glass of water, Richie had finally declared Seth sober enough to bring him back here. Seth just hoped he wasn't going to have to fight Richie - he was tired and he was still pretty drunk and, if it came down to it, he'd lose. Seth had muscle, but Richie had _skill_.

He did even when he was human.

But Richie doesn't blindfold him or tie his hands behind his back or any of that, he just cuts the engine, turns to Seth.

"No one's expecting you - or me, for that matter - so be quiet, yeah? We don't want to scare them." Richie winks and, from the look on Seth's face, he's sure his little brother thinks he's going to force him to watch him drain someone's blood.

Richie wonders if it would even bother Seth now, after all that he's been through. He's not sure he wants to ask.

Seth's breathing heavily as they enter the house through the garage door and Richie wonders if everyone can hear or if it's just him.

There's no way Santanico can, though. She's drunk by now and there's music blaring from the kitchen, loud enough to hurt even Seth's ears.

 _"Son of a bitch, give me a drink!"_

Richie cringes even, knowing the last time they sung this song Kate was hungover for two days, moaning about having to go to work and how awful her dates had been. Santanico had told her to stop picking up boys who hung out in a 24 hour diner, but Kate didn't listen.

Seth looks confused, and Richie just mumbles, "brace yourself," as they walked into the kitchen.

Santanico is dancing around the kitchen table in one of Richie's button ups, her margarita spilling as she twirls, her body shaking with energy.

At first Seth is confused, even more so than when Richie brought him here, because he thought he was going to have to save Kate, to protect her from Richie and Santanico like he had just a little more than a year ago now. Instead here she is, on top of the kitchen table in Kiki de Montparnasse nightie with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

Her eyes are closed, she's banging her head, and Seth starts to laugh.

She is so beautiful. She is so happy.

She opens her eyes.

She nearly falls off the table, even, and Santanico shoots daggers at Richie.

"Seth," Kate sighs, her eyes wide.

Richie is laughing at the mess he's caused, Santanico's yelling at him in spanish, and Kate sitting on her ass on top of the kitchen table. The radio is way too loud.

Seth crosses to the paper bags on top of the kitchen counter. He reaches in and pulls out a beer.

"This is a lot to take in," He notes, sitting on the counter.

Kate simply nods, taking another drink.

()()()

The party is over soon after that.

Santanico has magically sobered up in seconds, using her demigod strength to drag Richie out of the room and upstairs, where Kate can hear yelling and things being thrown and she knows Santanico is angry. The older girl is trying to protect her. Kate cried about Seth for months - in the beginning, being around Richie only made things worse.

She hated that she'd left him. She hated that he'd let her.

But Santanico had overlooked (or maybe she'd planned it) that she'd left the two alone together, staring at each other in a kitchen filled with booze.

"Still very much in love, I see." Seth notes, gesturing towards the ceiling with his beer.

"They are," Kate nodded dully, looking at the floor.

"Richie came across me, you know. And he didn't tell me you were here, but I could've guessed. I thought he had you locked away or something, that he was holding you here to get to me." Seth muttered. "I thought I was coming to save you."

"I don't need saving," She spat back at him.

"Well yeah, I can see that." He laughed. "That bitch has you wrapped around her finger."

"That bitch was the only person who was kind to be for a whole damn year." She said, her eyes lighting up with fury. She stood and came to stand opposite of him, studying his face in the way that he studied hers in that inn.

Last year felt like a forever ago now.

"Doesn't change what she did to your family, Kate." Seth reminded her, and she winced, but didn't falter.

"It doesn't change what you did either, Seth. She took me in when you dumped me in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"I didn't dump you, Kate! You wanted to go. You told me to stop."

"I wanted you to come back for me."

Kate was so close to him that he could see the pain in her eyes, see the tears welling up there. He wanted to reach out and holding her, remind her just how special she was to him, remind her how he was only trying to do what was right by her, trying to do what he should've done back at the Titty Twister, when she opened her pomegranate lips and asked if he wanted some company.

She was happy here. She was safe here. Seth needed her happy and safe, even if it wasn't with him.

"I can't love you, Kate. Believe me, I've tried." His voice was tired, raw from drinking and raw from shouting. The night was ending around them, if it wasn't already over.

"No," She cried, beating at his chest. "You do love, dammit! Else you wouldn't be here, right?"

He grabbed her hands, having taken more than enough of a beating tonight, and pushed her away from him. She was little and she was drunk, so it was easy. He was vaguely aware that the upstairs had gone quiet, meaning either Santanico and Richie had killed each other, or they were listening in.

The latter was more likely.

This was all Richie's fault anyways - Seth hoped he was listening.

"I need to go, Kate. I can't be here, I can't live like you do, I can't live with these things."

"These things are your family, Seth! Richie's here, I'm here, isn't that enough for you?"

He wanted to say yes, but he remembered the way Richie looked in the bar, the way he smiled when he said he was hungry. Seth couldn't stay, not for another moment.

"I'm leaving, Princess. And you're not coming with."

She sunk to the ground then, everything she had tried to repress, everything she'd tried to hide, floating back to the surface.

Seth knelt beside her, kissed her head.

Seth headed towards the door and Richie appeared, standing at the top of the stairs. Nodding, Richie descended the steps, car keys in his hand.

"I'll drive you to the town."

Seth didn't answer.

They walked out the garage door again.

He could still hear Kate screaming for him.

()()()

"I'm sorry, brother." Richie frowned, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't realize - "

"No," Seth cut him off. He didn't want to speak on it anymore.

Things were good for her here, with Richie and Santanico. She deserved that, deserved this, even if Seth was no part of it.

They'd tried to be together, and it didn't work. He wouldn't let himself fuck it up again.

()()()

 _"It's alright_

 _I will fix whatever is not the sweetness in your eye_

 _Just sit down_

 _Please_

 _Sit down_

 _Here_

 _At the table and we'll talk_

 _Somewhere televisions light up in the night."_


	14. Girls Your Age

**Songs used: Girls Your Age by Transviolet**

()()()

 _"17 running from innocence_

 _Like it's a lion."_

()()()

The two of them are in the middle of the desert in southern Mexico, and it's been five months since the Titty Twister.

Ever since Kate came back everything has been quiet. She doesn't fight with him, doesn't bother, because Seth is in charge and she's tried her luck without him, she's seen where it's landed her. Pretty pale brunette's don't do well in Mexico unless there's a man by their side.

She shoots him up wordlessly now, and Seth's sure that, once she finds a vein, she closes her eyes. Poison makes him happier than she ever did. She rarely talks now, too. When she's prompted enough, she'll smile or laugh or reminisce with him, but she's scared now, maybe even more so than at the Titty Twister.

Seth is pretty sure she's scared of him.

But he doesn't say anything, either. The one month they spent apart was more than enough for him.

The engine in the mustang they stole is chugging along and Kate picked up a tape from one of the rest stops a while back, one that was in English. All they got around here were Mexican folk stations. Kate liked to sing along, and she couldn't do that if she couldn't speak the language.

That was the only liberty she took on their drives, turning up the stereo a little louder, humming to it. Occasionally, she helped direct him as well.

At this moment, Kate was (Badly, not not too badly) joining Celine Dion in the chorus of My Heart Will Go On, when she turned to look at him.

"What time is it?"

The console in the Mustang didn't have a clock, so Seth checked his watch.

"One-oh-three."

"I'm officially eighteen," She smiled. "I was born at one o'clock."

Seth slammed on the breaks.

"What do you mean?"

"Seth, it's my birthday."

"You never fucking told me," He shook his head, clutching the steering wheel. "How come you didn't say anything, Kate?"

"I didn't want you to do anything, I didn't want to piss you off."

"Why the hell would your birthday piss me off?" He said, his brows furrowing and his eyes dark with anger.

Kate grew quiet.

This was what she was afraid of.

Seth waited a moment, waited until he was calm, and then he turned forward, asking again.

"I want you to answer me, Kate, why are you still walking on eggshells?"

She looked at the desert, the hot sand just outside her window. She didn't want to leave Seth, especially not for this.

"I don't want you to leave me again." She mumbled it, her voice so quiet that not even Richie could've heard.

"What?"

"I don't want you to think I'm just some little kid and get sick of me and drop me off back where Jesus lost his shoes again!"

"I didn't just drop you off, Kate. I gave you a car, I gave you money, I gave you a chance to get away, to go home."

"I went home." She muttered, speaking quietly again. Seth leaned in to better hear her. "Scott was there. But Seth, he's, he's not Scott anymore. He's not my brother. He's something else, something inhuman."

There's a moment of silence in the car as Seth reaches over, and for a minute Kate thinks he might hit her, but he traces her hairline, cupping her head in his hand.

"I told you not to go looking, Kate. I told you you wouldn't like what you found."

"I needed to know. Just having you tell me, it wouldn't be enough. I thought he might be like Rafa, something dangerous, but something kind and sweet, too. But Scott's gotten involved with those _things_ at the Titty Twister and now he's not right anymore, they never even gave him a chance to be. We should've gotten him out of there while we could."

"It's too late Kate." Seth sighed, pulling his hands back into his lap. "I'm so sorry, Kate."

He understood now - she'd faced things alone that Seth never would have dreamed of. Kate sought him out again because she needed his companionship; he was the only person she had left who understood culebras, who both loved and hated them. He was the only family she had left, the only family she wanted. And she was scared of him, because he was a man and she was a child, because he'd left her before and she had the audacity to think he'd do it again.

"It's okay, I'm okay, I just...I don't want to fuck this up like I did last time, you know? I don't want to be on my own again."

"Reality is a scary place, Princess." Seth smiles at her. "But hey, eighteen, that's a big year."

"Not really," She shook her head. "I've pretty much done all of it already."

"Not everything." Seth leans across the console, pressing his lips to hers.

He pulls away, leaving her stunned, and slams his foot on the gas.

He wants to make it to a town by sundown, he wants to take her out to celebrate.

()()()

By her twenty-first birthday, Kate is used to all of it. She's been allowed to drink in Mexico for three years, but thinks of it as a sort of right of passage.

She's alone at the bar, her red dress all too tight on her curvy body, and she's downing shots like she could go all night. Knowing her track record, she probably could.

The music is too loud and it's all giving her a headache. For a moment, it occurs to her that this is her third bar of the night, that she's gotten bored of all the others, and ended up in this place that reminded her a little too much of the Titty Twister.

There were no topless, dancing women with snakes crawling around them, but the decoration was similar.

There's a tap on her shoulder, and she turns to see an older man, hair graying around the edges, his five o'clock shadow a little more grown out, in a black suit.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asks, snaking an arm around the back of her chair.

Kate straightens so he's not touching her directly, but she doesn't remove it.

"Sure, gin and tonic."

"My kind of girl," He smiles at her, signaling for the bartender, announcing that he'll have the same. "So, what brings you here tonight?"

"It's my birthday?"

"Let me guess, you're an American girl, so it's the twenty-first?"

"Correct," She smiled a little brighter. "It seemed important, you know, to go out."

"Is there a man at home?" He smiled at her, raising an eyebrow.

Kate wasn't sure he said it as smoothly as he should've, or that there was as much foreplay as she would've wanted, but she wanted him just as badly so she shook her head.

"Nope, just a yappy dog and an annoying roommate. How about we go back to yours, yeah?"

The man nodded, leading her towards the door.

The second they were outside the bar, he brought his lips to hers.

She pushed herself against him, feeling his excitement, feeling his dick spring to attention as she kissed him back.

"Chico is not a yappy dog," Seth scolded her, putting his arm around her and leading her to the stolen Toyota. "He's a fierce creature."

"You brought a fucking pitbull and named him Chico, Seth. I think that says enough." She shook her head, blushing as he opened the door for her, something he rarely did. "That was fun, we should do that every night."

"What, get drunk off our asses and try to pick each other up as if we're strangers?"

"yup," she said, popping her P.

"You've got some crazy ideas, Miss Fuller."

"You're the crazy one, Mr. Gecko."

He drove her back to the apartment, the one they've stayed in for a little over three months now. Inside, Chico is barking, and they can hear the neighbors cursing at him. It's three in the morning.

"It's no longer your birthday," Seth says, pointing at his watch.

"Well darn, I guess that means no birthday sex." She pretends to pout before turning her back to him and racing into the building.

Seth chases after her.

"Wait, hold on now! I didn't mean it like that!"

()()()

 _"I never saw you coming_

 _Black suit, lookin' sharp with your dark eyes._

 _He loves my imperfections so I tell him that I love him."_


	15. This is What Makes us Girls

**A/N - Total AU where Seth, Richie, and Santanico save Kate from a really pervy date.**

 **Songs used: This is what makes us girls by Lana Del Rey**

()()()

 _"Sweet sixteen and we had arrived_

 _Walkin' down the streets as they whistled_

 _'Hi, hi!'"_

()()()

They're just getting out of the car and this guy already has his hands on her thigh. Kate doesn't know him too well, but going on a date or two never hurts, especially now that Seth's made his feelings clear.

He's moved on, he's got Sonja, so it's time she does too.

Santanico and Richie, they know how she feels. It's probably because Santanico's a centuries-old vampire who's probably known some heartbreaks of her own, and Richie's seen the way Kate looks at Seth.

They watched her get all dressed up, put on some slinky thing she'd brought from the mall a couple days ago, specifically for this event, and asked Santanico for help with her makeup. They'd seen the way she did her hair, the way she waited by the door. Kate was excited to go out with this guy. She actually liked him.

The fact that she met him at work was a little worrisome, as Kate worked as a bartender in the cheapest place in town. Santanico and Richie wondered what kind of guy he was, while Seth pretended not to notice and Sonja walked around in a love-induced haze, clinging to Seth's arm.

Even Santanico turned up her lip.

Kate wouldn't let them meet the guy, too worried that they'd scare him off somehow, but she was starting to wish she had. Maybe they would've warned her away.

He's got his hand on her thigh again. He keeps putting it back there, no matter how many times she pushes it away, tells him, the tiniest hint of a joke in her voice, to focus on the road. He runs his fingers up and down it, tracing to the hemline of the dress, and then back to her knee.

His hands are not big and rough like she'd imagined they'd be, they're tiny and dainty - he probably hasn't worked a day in his life.

Suddenly her phone buzzes in her purse, and she smiles, reaching to pull it out.

It's from Santanico, and she's asking if the date is good or bad.

 _Bearable :(_

Kate replies, angling the phone so he can't see it as she hits send. Then she throws it back in her bag, leaning her head against the window and pretending like she doesn't feel his hands on her.

They get to the restaurant and he shuts off the car.

It's a nice enough looking place, but definitely a chain restaurant. Kate doesn't mind, and she turns back to look at him.

He's reaching up her skirt now, his fingers playing with the hem of her satin panties.

"Antonio," She laughs, albeit nervously. "At least buy me dinner first. C'mon, I don't want to do this."

"Why have dinner," He smirked, his breath hot against her neck. "When you can have dessert first?"

Not a second later a familiar white Cadillac pulls up a few parking spaces beside them, and Kate blushes, but snakes her way out of Antonio's arms.

Santanico rips open Kate's door just as Richie opens Antonio's.

"Are you alright, _bebita_?" Santanico asks, searching the girl's eyes.

She knows what it's like to be held captive.

Kate lets herself be ushered to the white car. She doesn't look back to see Richie beating the shit out of Antonio, who is much smaller than him.

She's settling into the backseat, lying down, when another car pulls up.

Seth gets out of his black Camaro and slams the door.

"Where's the fucking fire?" He mutters, looking around him.

He stands there for a minute, seeing Kate curled up in the backseat, watching as Santanico and Richie kick the shit out of some little boy. It's then that it sets in, and Seth joins them. He comes over in time to hear Santanico mutter to Richie, "The poor thing said he wouldn't get his hands off her."

And Seth sees red.

"Seth?" Richie asks, looking up to see his brother. "What are you doing here?"

"You two ran out of the house like the world was ending, I figured I'd go ahead and see what was up. Sonja's in the shower."

"Might as well help," Richie smiled, standing back and allowing Seth to pick the boy up by his collar, pressing him against the car.

"Who the fuck are you?" Antonio asked, his teeth stained red with his blood.

"We're the fucking calvary." Seth grinned, punching Antonio hard enough that his head bangs back against the car, and he passes out.

Not showing any mercy, Seth lets him fall to the ground.

Seth spits, looking at the work he's done, and then turns to head back to the car. Santanico puts a hand on his chest, stopping him. He glares at her, but she doesn't hold back.

"I'll check on Kate," Richie says, nodding towards Santanico before heading for the cadillac.

Santanico's staring bullets into him, and she presses him against the car with some sort of demigod strength, the kind that normal people don't have.

"This happened because of you." She spits, jabbing a finger into his chest. "You know how she feels, how you feel. You need to make sure this doesn't happen again, Seth, or I'll kill you myself."

And Seth swallows, hard, because he knows how protective she is of Kate and he knows she means it. He nods, and only then does she let him go.

"I want the slut out of my house by tomorrow morning. If you still love her, you'll go with her. But if you stay, I expect you to take good care of that little _bebita_ in my car."

She says nothing else. She feels she doesn't need to.

()()()

 _"Don't cry about him, don't cry about him_

 _It's all gonna happen."_


	16. The Cops

**a/n - Fanfic is written in second person, as if you are the waitress at the diner. I tried to do something a little different with this one, so I hope you all enjoy it.**

 **Songs used: The Cops by**

()()()

"You're turning my insides, you're making me wish

That I was a better girl, with a steady hand,

That you wanted to be with."

()()()

Her skin cracks when she smiles and her lip is busted. There's a bruise above her eye like she's just gotten out of a fight. When you goes to take her order, you can see her fidget with her sleeves, with her collar and with the fading polish on her fingernails. It's red, the same shade of red as her lipstick, and you wonder if she put it on earlier tonight, before she went out, or if she only has one shade of lipstick.

She clicks those orangeish-red nails against the counter as her date orders. He's not her boyfriend, he's too old for that, but he's too young to be her father. He asks how the ribs are and she laughs, a forced kind that shows how nervous she is, how young she is.

And she is young. Beneath the lure of her dark, sultry eyes and her smooth voice you can see her innocence, her purity. You can tell she does not belong here. You can tell something is not right.

You have a really rotten feeling about this but you don't say anything, you shrug it off. You've seen enough shows on ID Discovery to know that old men don't bring underage brats with them to hold up diners. They don't put their arm around the girl, they certainly don't call her princess.

But it's just you and the cook here. If you die here, no one will notice for hours. If there's no more customers tonight, and there might not be, the first person to find you would be Linda, who comes in at six-thirty to relieve you from the graveyard shift.

The cook is Danny, and he's a big guy. He's nice enough, but he's not about to be taking any bullets for you. You realize that, if it came down to it, you wouldn't take any for him, either. You can hear him in the kitchen now, if you focus hard enough. He's got the radio playing some old rock band and he's probably in there banging his head to it, giving himself another migraine.

The couple is looking at you again, the girl biting her fingernails and the man is just staring. They've stopped talking.

You smile and spin on your heels, say, "I'll have it right up," only to realize that you have no clue what they ordered.

In the end, you tell Danny to get ribs with a side of mashed potatoes for the man, and grab the girl a water. You're ninety-eight percent sure she said she didn't want anything, but you ask her again when you bring by their drinks.

She's sucking on a lollipop now, one that the man had produced from the inner pocket of his suit and slid across the table to her, like it was cocaine or cash, not a piece of candy. You watch as the girl rolls it around in her mouth, smacking gently on it.

You find that, for once, the sound doesn't annoy you. It doesn't seem to bother the man either, because he's looking at her in awe, like she hung the moon and the stars, like she wakes up the sun each and every morning. It occurs to you that she probably doesn't even get up before noon, girls like that never do, and you don't say anything about her order. You drop off their drinks, practically speechless, and you retreat to the kitchen.

"Danny," You creep over, turning his stereo down.

"What's up?" He turns to you, keeping one eye on the ribs. He was good at that, multitasking.

"Does the couple in here give you a weird vibe?"

Danny poked his head out the little window separating the kitchen and the dining area. He watched for a moment, discretely, as the girl sucked until her lipstick blended with the lollipop and the man adjusted his collar, rubbed his hand on her thigh, and then put an arm back around her shoulder. They did it again and again every couple minutes, as if it was a ritual they didn't realize they had developed.

They weren't talking, not as far as Danny and you could tell.

"Definitely," He agreed, chuckling a little. "Looks like the little lady over there found herself a brand-new sugar daddy."

"No," You shake your head. He looks too unsure to be rich and she's too young to be a trophy, and the more you stared at them the more nervous they made you.

You began to realize that their presence wasn't making you nervous, but that the couple themselves were.

It was rubbing off on you, you decided. Tried to pass it off as that, as a case of the air being too thick and the dry, Mexican weather messing with your sinuses. In the end, you delivered their ribs and mumbled a quiet "yup," when they told you thank you.

The man didn't say anything, the girl spoke for him.

You gave up. You were making a big deal out of nothing, so you went back to the front counter and worked on your Physics homework, due tomorrow afternoon, and tried to ignore the couple in the corner.

It was hard to do, though. Even when you were no longer suspicious of them, you were still drawn to them, still entranced by their dynamic.

Her makeup was smudged and the man reached across the table, showing her where it was.

"Go find a bathroom, princess." He suggested, gesturing towards the RESTROOM sign.

You smiled at the girl as she walked past you - damn, she was probably younger than you were, even - and then kept your eyes on your books, waiting for the man to finish up.

The lock to the bathroom door clicked shut.

You heard that, but you hadn't heard him move.

You hadn't heard him get up, cross over to you, and point a gun just over your shoulder.

You heard it fire, though, and you heard Danny groan and fall and you knew he would never have to worry about another migraine again. You thought you were going to cry, but no tears came.

Instead, you stared at the man, his pistol pressed against your head, as he gestured towards the cash register.

This time, you heard him loud and clear.

"I want everything inside."

Your hands shaking hard, you opened it up and stepped away, closing your eyes tight. You didn't want to see him, you didn't want to identify him in a lineup or be linked to him in any way. You wanted to go back and time and call in sick, you wanted to close the shop before this guy and his girl decided to stroll in. You wanted a way out.

The man reached over the counter and took it all, the green paper in his sauce-stained hands.

He saw her glancing at them through half shut eyes.

"The ribs were decent," He grumbled as he stuffed the wads into his pockets. "A little overcooked."

A car revved outside, and through the windows you could see the girl idling out front in an old black Mustang. She must've gone out the bathroom window.

The man nodded at her, and she adjusted her sunglasses even though it was three in the morning. She pointed to an imaginary watch on her wrist, and he held his hands up in defense.

It was strange, witnessing this intimate exchange between two people who would probably prefer you dead.

Confirming your thoughts, the man held a gun to your head.

"Listen, you identify me, or her, and I'll come back. I'll be back here and this bullet will be imbedded in your skull before you can ask to take my order, you got it?"

You gulp and nod viciously, watching as he walks calmly out the door and to the car. He's less frantic now that the job is done, now that he has the money. He lets the door to the diner slam behind him and you wait until the black car is out of view until you reach for the phone to call the cops.

The first thing you tell them is that you were right, men like that don't bring their girlfriends to rob diners. They bring them as the getaway drivers.

()()()

"You could do wrong like a hundred times.

But I'll always search the scene for ways to rationalize."


	17. Prom Song (Gone Wrong)

**Songs used: Prom Song (Gone Wrong) by Lana Del Rey (unreleased)**

()()()

"Dancin' til dark, stayin' forever young

Let's get out of this place, cause you're starting to waste

within this teenage wasteland."

()()()

The moon keeps him awake.

It's full and it's shining in through the motel window and he's watching it cross the sky, pacing and thinking about Richie, about Culebras and robbing banks and everything in between.

The carburetor is leaking in the stolen Ford and Seth's wondering if it's worth fixing himself, or if he should just dump the ancient truck and get something newer. The AC in the motel room is so loud he can barely hear himself think, so he goes out onto the balcony and paces there instead.

He is thinking about all the monsters in the world, all the things that could be coming for him, but he's mostly thinking about Kate Fuller.

Five hours ago, she walked out of the motel room with a little more pep in her step, with roughly fifty dollars of stolen cash in her hand and she didn't tell him where she was going.

Seth just hoped she wasn't leaving him - partly because fifty dollars wouldn't get her much of anywhere, but mostly because he would miss her too much.

As if she's overheard him thinking, Seth sees her in the distance. She's rushing at the motel so quickly that he worries she's gotten into some kind of trouble.

Seth stops pacing, and he starts watching her.

Sometimes, he forgets how young she really is. It's moments like now, when she's grinning and bouncing up the stairs towards him, that he remembers.

The bodies are piling up behind them, both culebra and human, and most of the time that weighs heavily on Kate's conscious. Seth is made for killing, for leaving people behind, dead and alive. Kate is made for family dinners on Sundays and hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas.

He feels like he has taken something from her, but that fades when he hears her giggle.

"Seth," She smiles, and he can tell she is drunk. He can smell it on her, the bar and the whiskey and everything in between. There is blood mixed in there somewhere, but he knows the difference between human and culebra blood by now - this is distinctly human. It is distinctly Kate's.

He checks her over, searching for injuries, when she yanks her shirt up.

There is a hole in Kate where there was not one before.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," He said, and it is distinctly fitting.

"You like?" She grins, biting at her lip, and in that moment it is all too easy to forget that the girl standing in front of him is an eighteen year old preacher's daughter.

He can't blame himself, because he's staring at her in a red bra that's faded from being washed so much, and she's got a silver bar going through her belly button that has dried blood around it and a gem dangling from the bottom.

She fingers it with broken nails, and from the way she winces he can tell it's still sore. He guides her inside, towards the bathroom, to find a bottle of tequila to pour over it.

They've both had their fair share of bumps and scratches, and this one will be nothing new.

"What made you decide on this, Princess?" Seth asked, pouring the liquid onto her stomach. "I thought we were going to celebrate your eighteenth together."

Kate shrugs, her head rolls to the side sleepily.

"I always wanted my belly button pierced, but Daddy always said no."

"Ah, your final rebellion." He nods, laughing a little.

Kate Fuller is a vampire slayer, but she still has her teenage moments, Seth grants her that.

"Look, it's opal." she says, practically ripping out the ring in her urge to show him. "That's your birthstone."

"Is it now?" He rolls his eyes. It's a nice gesture, but Seth's in no mood. He wants to get it cleaned before it really gets infected.

She flinches often and he's too rough for her. Usually it's Kate who does the bandaging up, but she's too drunk to be of any assistance. In the end, he makes her retreat to the bed and get what little sleep she can, says he'll finish cleaning it in the morning.

He watches her sleep then, turns back on the AC so she won't get too hot. When he turns to look at her again, she is already asleep, her little legs curled under her. He crawls in on the other side, too lazy to unmake the second bed, and lays so their faces are close, so he knows she's there. When she exhales, he can still smell the alcohol, the iron in her blood.

In the morning, There will be a fresh layer of blood between them, but Seth is ready for it. For Kate, Seth is ready for anything - even a goddamn belly button piercing.

()()()

"I know they say that all I want is to have fun

And get away for rainy days.

I know that they think that I've come undone,

but I'm in love."


	18. Pet

**Title credit goes to A Perfect Circle. This takes place approx. 6 months after Kate and Seth split up, and other than that is completely AU from the second season. Previously posted.**

 **Songs Used: Pet by A Perfect Circle**

()()()

 _"The boogeymen are coming._

 _Keep your head down."_

()()()

When Seth sees her again, Kate has changed.

She is no longer eighteen, no longer scared and unsure. Her shorts are shorter now, her shirts are tighter, and there is no necklace adorning her neck. From what he can see, however, she's got little diamond crosses on her ears.

She smiles at him, glancing over as if she knew he'd be there, because he's in trouble and, for once, Kate is the one getting him out of it.

He was just going into the bar for a drink - he couldn't even have that anymore. Thanks to Richie and his snake, Culebras knew who he was, knew where to find him. They'd been hunting him for six months now, since he'd left Kate.

Or maybe Kate had left him. He wasn't sure, but Seth figured they could have that argument after they were done here.

He's watching her out of the corner of his eyes, slashing through these monsters like they're air. She's not weak, like he remembers, she is something else entirely.

It is nearly impossible to relate the Kate Fuller he knew to the one in front of him now, the girl breaking necks with a smile.

He gets distracted and one of them, a large one, nearly gets him. He stabs a stake through it and moves on.

()()()

When they are finished they're surrounded by decaying bodies, by ash and by fires just beginning to burn. The bar is empty now, just the two of them, and Kate gives him a nod before turning towards the door.

"Wait," He shouts, reaching for her arm, pulling her back, holding her back. "What the hell was that, Kate?"

"I've been casing this place for weeks," She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you didn't know it was a nest. Either way, fate's funny like that, huh?"

Seth shakes his head in disbelief because this is not how his Kate Fuller would've reacted. His Kate would've been hiding from death, waiting in the car for him to finish up, wanting to be as far away from it as possible. His Kate would've rather been in Bethel, at her senior prom, getting ready for college.

Instead she smiles, she laughs, she bares her teeth as if she can tell what he's thinking.

She turns to leave again, but Seth holds to her in an act of desperation.

He's been in jail and he's been in hell, but he's never felt more vulnerable.

"Was this not how you imagined finding me again, Seth?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry it's such a disappointment."

He sputters and he hasn't had a single drink today but he feels weightless, feels slow.

"I thought you would've gone home." He nodded, agreeing with her.

"Yes, and then when you were good and ready you'd come get me, come take me out of Bethel and we'd run away together. Seth, you can't lock me in a tower and expect me to be there when you come back."

She runs her fingernails across his jaw and he nods. This isn't a fairytale, this is a horror novel, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

Kate touches him again, in a way differently than he'd ever admit to imagining, and he falls to his knees, leaning into her. She cups him over the denim of his jeans, her eyes glowing, her teeth shining, and allows him to hold himself against her. Reluctantly, he wraps his arms around her waist, pressing kisses to the place where her shirt and her shorts don't meet, against a strip of bare skin.

She moans for a moment, her head rolling back and her collar bones poking out like angel wings.

For a moment, that reminds him of the old Kate, but then she takes one of his hands and lays it on her breast and the girl he knew is gone again.

She runs a hand down her body, over the valley between her breast, down the place where her ribs cave in, and grabs his chin. She pulls him up off his knees, pressing their lips together.

Kate grasps at him and Seth presses against her, their bodies are morphing and blending and then...and then there's blood.

Seth pulls back and reaches a finger to his lip. Kate's got blood running down her jaw and her teeth are stained red and this was something she _meant_ to do. She's unapologetic, she's laughing about it.

"What the fuck?" He asks, sputtering. He's in so much pain, more pain than he's ever been in before, and he's pretty sure it has more to do with the person standing in front of him than an actual wound.

Her eyes are shining again and her teeth are so sharp and so white and her lips so red that Seth suddenly knows why his Kate is no longer his Kate.

"Fuck," he groans, leaning into a chair, propping his feet up on the table. He's scared of her, but he's sure as hell not going to show it.

"You should've let me leave, Seth." She rolled her eyes, but she is still stoic, still without regret. "I didn't want you to find out this way."

"There was a better option?"

She shakes her head.

"I'm not sure."

She comes close to him, running her fingers across his bloody lip, popping them into her mouth and sucking. Seth is getting hard again, and he hates himself for it.

Goddamn it, this is Kate Fuller, and she should not have blood running down her face and she should not be touching him like this, dominating him. But she is.

"Close your eyes." She moans, and she says it with such fervor that Seth agrees immediately, that mortality means nothing to him now.

His eyes aren't shut for more than a few seconds but the warmth from her body is gone and there's a car backfiring in the parking lot and Seth is alone, Seth is surrounded by death.

He searches for a rag to clean his face, and plucks his car keys off the bar.

She'll be back, he's sure.

()()()

 **A/N- Previously posted as a separate story, but I ran out of ideas and decided to repost it here. xx.**


	19. It Will Come Back

**Songs used: It Will Come Back by Hozier**

 **Takes place two days after the season finale.**

()()()

 _"Leave it to the land, this is what it knows._

 _Honey that's how it sleeps."_

()()()

They buried Kate fuller today.

It wasn't a proper thing, no preacher or roses or marble tombstone. She got a hole in the desert and a cross made of sticks at her head. She wasn't on holy ground but it didn't matter because Seth would never forget the location, the very spot, where she went down.

Scott ran off and Richie broke down and Seth was left to clean up the mess.

Even though he hated to admit it, Santanico helped him. She understood where he was coming from.

()()()

Everyone was gone now, he couldn't stand the sight of Richie for another second and Santanico could feel the tension between them. She pulled her puppet offstage the first chance she got, and as far as Seth knew they were chasing after the Lords again.

So he was alone in some motel, alone with his spirits, and they weren't the scary kind. The room was dark and the silent, Seth tucked himself in, taking one last sip before leaving the tequila open on the nightstand.

He hadn't cried yet. He felt sort of bad about it, but he seemed to be beyond it now. Tears couldn't encompass the emotions Seth was feeling, so he let his silence do the talking.

Seth was drifting off into an intoxicated slumber, the first real one he's had in weeks, when he caught the shadow of something - someone - walking past his window.

Whoever it was didn't seem too worried with being discrete and Seth groaned, hiding his head in his pillow and trying to block it out.

Then he heard the door handle jiggle.

If Kate had been here, Seth would've jumped to block the door. He would've held whoever it was off for as long as possible, as long as needed, for her to make a quick and clean getaway.

But Kate was not here, and Seth wasn't there to be her savior when she really needed it anyways, so he settled for rolling over, facing away from the door. Uncertainty was coming, Seth was welcoming it.

The door swung open and little feet stepped onto the carpet, crossing to his bed. Seth clenched his eyes and mumbled a little prayer - one he'd heard Kate say once or twice - as if that would somehow make up for the robberies and the deaths.

It was standing over him now. It was crying.

"Oh God, I'm so scared."

Seth jumped out of bed, turning on the light and spinning to face the intruder.

She was bloody and barefoot, her feet bleeding from the long walk to the motel. Her hair was matted and her tank top torn but she was here, his Kate was here.

He reached for her, grasping with needy fingers, and pulled her against him. She felt the same, but different somehow. She was so cold. Earlier today he had laid her in a rectangular hole in the middle of the desert, he'd put dirt on top of her body and made her a grave marker. But now, now she was here.

He clung to her like you would cling to a stillborn child, to something that was present and not present at the same time. To something that was real, but seemed wrong somehow.

Seth considered, albeit briefly, that this was the first time they'd deliberately touched.

He breathed in, his nose buried in her neck. She didn't smell like the cheap shampoo and distilled detergent that he remembered, but like earth and sand and iron. That was understandable, Seth decided, considering the circumstances.

When he finally lets go of her, he can see how scared she is, can tell how horribly she's shaking. Her eyes are wide and bloodshot and glazed over, her bottom lip is quivering. Seth wants to take her in his arms again, not to make sure she's really here, but to comfort her. Kate looks like she needs it.

She watches him, sees the sadness in his eyes, and feigns a smile.

"I guess you thought you were rid of me, huh?" She laughs, but it comes out thick and wrong, like she hasn't laughed in a long time.

Seth rubs at his eyes and doesn't bother to ask questions, he just pulls the covers aside and crawls back under. Kate follows his lead, allowing him to curl his body around hers, to lay an arm over her waist.

He shuts off the light.

Seth thinks he is dreaming, thinks that he's going to wake up alone or maybe he just won't wake up at all. Maybe somebody did come in and killed him - does that make this heaven, or does that make this hell?

Seth decides there are too many questions and pushes his face deeper and deeper into Kate's neck until he can smell her shampoo beneath the stench of blood and earth.

()()()

They buried Kate Fuller today but Seth wakes up and she's still here, still in his arms.

()()()

 _"Can't be unlearned, I've learned the warmth of your doorways._

 _Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you."_


	20. Rivers and Roads

**Songs used: Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart.**

 **I just wanted to say thank you for all the review and favorites, I really enjoy writing this piece and knowing that people enjoy reading it makes my day. Thanks so much! Xx.**

()()()

 _"A year from now, we'll all be gone_

 _All our friends will move away."_

()()()

Almost every day, Kate forgets that she is not home. She forgets that she'll wake up with makeup on, breathing in the state, hot air that seemed to follow her around while her body is tucked between two stiff motel sheets.

Those are not the worst days, though. The worst ones are when she thinks she is home.

()()()

"Kate! Kate!"

She opens her eyes and she's staring at pink walls lined with dolls and stuffed animals, she's lying in a bed made for a little girl in pajamas made for a woman - but that doesn't matter because it's her wall, it's her bed and her room and she never thought she'd be so excited to see it ever again.

Scott is jumping up and down on her bed, yelling for her to get up and she reaches for him, little hands clutching at his pajama pants. She wraps herself around him and he gives her a strange look but hugs her back anyways. Kate can feel tears stinging at her eyes because nothing has ever felt so heavy or so solid as this.

"C'mon," Scott says, jumping up and yanking her out of bed. "Mom made breakfast."

 _Mom._

At the sound of it her heart stops, her feet stop. Scott is looking at her with confused eyes and he suddenly looks very young, too young, and Kate knows something isn't right.

"Are you alright?" He asks suddenly, swallowing hard like he's hiding something.

She can't breathe because this isn't right, she's not supposed to be here, not supposed to be talking to Scott and their mother isn't supposed to be cooking breakfast and she can hear her father humming in his study and she can feel herself sinking to the ground, the air leaving her chest.

Is this a memory? Is this a dream? Is this heaven? Whatever it is, it isn't right because she's supposed to be in a diner with Seth right now, picking at her food and talking about the day, about Richie, about whatever they could.

She's trying to piece together sentences, it suddenly occurs her that it shouldn't be this hard.

Tears spring to her eyes and she's sobbing on the landing above the stairs. Scott runs down, calling for their mom.

"Something's wrong with Kate! She's lost it, Mom."

Her father pokes his head out of his study and rushes to her, mumbling "Katie-cakes" over and over again, a questioning look on his face.

Kate looks at them all rushing towards her, the family that she was so sure was dead, and she realizes that this has happened before.

It's like she's hit some switch, a kind of restart button, and they're right back where they were before everything went bad, before Mom knew she was sick and before Dad started drinking and before the trip to Mexico and Seth and Richie and the Titty Twister and even before Kyle.

Kate is fifteen years old on Thanksgiving morning and she's had this breakdown before, only before she didn't realize why she was doing it, only that she was.

She leans towards her momma and clings to her, holds her tight. Momma goes to the doctor's tomorrow, and Kate, no matter how much she wants to, can't change her future.

In the end, she'll end up right back where she started. But as it turns out, she doesn't get to wait until the end.

Seth is calling her name and her eyes are closing again, her mother's slipping away from her and she can't feel the carpet under her feet anymore, she can't feeling anything.

()()()

She's woken up by a sharp slap to the face.

"What the hell?" She groans, sitting up slowly.

"Sorry, you just scared me." Seth shook his head, pacing the room, a belt still tied around his arm.

"What happened?" Kate mumbles, realizing she's on the floor of a dirty motel room and she would never, ever place herself here on purpose.

"You were always so worried about me falling out of bed you never thought once about yourself. You rolled out in the middle of the night and hit your head on the nightstand. You were still out cold when I...came down." He looks down, ashamed at the last part, and then focuses on removing the belt to avoid her gaze. "Must've been a hell of a dream, Kate."

"Yeah," She nodded, and he looks at her as if he thinks she'll elaborate.

Kate doesn't, though. This wasn't one of the nightmares you shared, especially not with Seth, not when he was carrying around so much guilt already. She looked at her hands, rubbing them together as if she could get a chill in the middle of the Mexican desert, and looks at the complimentary planner on the bedside table.

It's the last Thursday in November, but she's not fifteen and she's not at home and she's not a little girl anymore, crying on the stairs for unknown reasons.

She reaches for Seth's hands.

"Happy Thanksgiving."

He looks at her like she's gone batshit crazy - she's gotten that look a lot today and it's not even 6am yet.

"We're in Mexico," He rolled his eyes. "Good luck finding a turkey."

"I'm thankful we don't have a turkey, actually." Kate said, wrinkling her nose. "I've always hated it."

"Good to know, Katie-cakes, good to know." He rolls his eyes, pulling on his shoes. "Since we're up, we might as well get a head start."

"You don't want to tell me what you're thankful for?" Katie smiled, blinking her long lashes at him.

"No," He says, not a moment's hesitation.

He doesn't have to say it, though, for her to know. Seth Gecko is thankful for her, else she wouldn't be here right was always supposed to be this way, always supposed to be her and him and no one else.

So she pulls on her sandals and takes his hand, allowing him to pull her off the ground, allowing him to pull her out of this life, and into the next.

()()()

 _"Nothing is as it has been_

 _And I miss your face like hell._

 _And I guess it's just as well_

 _But I miss your face like hell."_


	21. Heavenly Father

**A/N - Takes place somewhere before season 2. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy! xx.**

()()()

 _"I don't know how you house the sin_

 _I was never sure how much of you_

 _I could let in."_

 _\- Heavenly Father, Bon Iver_

()()()

The money is running out. The money that took them halfway across Mexico and thousands of miles away from Bethel, it's all gone now.

And Seth can't get more. He's too high and when he's not, the withdrawals are too deep. They make him crazy, scratching at the puncture wounds while he drove, eyes squinting at the road.

He couldn't pull a gig, not like this. Not with his dark eyes so bloodshot and his hands so shaky. Not with an ounce of heroin tucked into his back pocket and a gun tucked into his belt.

They'd ship him back to the US and put him away for life. They'd send Kate back to Bethel to live with some distant, dying grandparent.

And Kate wasn't about to let that happen.

So she started making her own money, finding little ways to help out with cash. Seth was so high all the time he didn't notice the funds adding up, how she crept out every once in a while when he was drowsy.

At first she found positions helping out in the motels they stayed at, cleaning and dressing up the rooms. The requests got weirder after that, she'd be called in to turn down the beds for men three times her age, to run a bath for them or to try on this nightgown, that sundress.

She listened, she always did. If she wanted to stay in Mexico, stay with Seth, she would have to provide for them.

()()()

When they moved around, her reputation proceeded her. It was like the last motel had called one the next town over, saying "hey, there's a pretty American girl coming your way. When she asks for a job, give her one."

She found jobs, money flowed quickly to her, thrown at her by men who asked, begged to look - but never to touch. She grew comfortable with it, their eyes trailing her around the room as she cleaned, as they asked her to tease them, to call them Daddy or Papa or some other sick word that made her swallow the bile that had risen in her throat.

But she was bringing home hard cash, fast cash, that she hid under the mattress and placed discretely in Seth's wallet when he was fast asleep. If he noticed, he never said so. Seth Gecko was cocky enough that he probably thought he was pulling gigs when he was high, or in his sleep, robbing convenience stores without opening his eyes.

Kate let him believe it, just like she let the men look at her, let them tell her what to do, but she reminds herself that she is in charge, that they do not own her. She'd move on if she could, but waitressing doesn't make the same kind of money that being a sex object does.

Shuddering, she reminds herself that she is more than an object. She repeats it over and over again, her mantra, as she paints her nails a dark shade of brown and applies another coat of makeup, knowing what does and what doesn't look good in the dim, fluorescent lights of a hotel room.

She's been in this trade for 3 motels now, and she smiles and walks in like she owns it. Kate is not burned or scarred or scared - she is a woman. She takes a deep breath and reminds herself that she is doing nothing wrong, just as long as they don't touch.

She is the apple and they are Eve, waiting patiently for a bite. Her innocence is not ruined, yet.

()()()

In the beginning it was Seth who took care of her. He pulled all the gigs, got all the money, while she stayed in the room, fiddling with her thumbs and waiting impatiently for his return.

It scared her every time he left, knowing he might take another life, knowing someone might take his.

Now it was Seth's turn to be scared.

He didn't know where she went, didn't know what she did, but he had a bad feeling in his chest whenever she left the hotel room, left him alone with his high.

When he kissed her, she was no longer scared. When his long fingers found their way to her core, running up and down her thigh, she smiled in a way that reminded him of another woman. When they first had sex, Seth knew she was a virgin - he'd seen the blood, watched it flow out of her, and then she turned to him with dark, needy eyes, and begged for him to go harder.

When he touched her now, called her name, she flinched in the slightest. If he hadn't known her so well, spent all these months with her, he never would've noticed.

But he did, and he watched as his Kate, shy and quiet and reserved, evolved into someone who was razor sharp, someone hot to the touch.

Then one day she took off her cross. She peeled the metal away from her neck, leaving the tiniest of green lines from where it had sat, and placed it gently in the drawer on the beside table. Beside the Bible, Seth was sure, for someone else to find. Someone who needed it more, who believed in it more.

Seth wanted to say something. He tried to, but he was just too far gone and the words wouldn't come out.

When they left the motel the next day, he didn't know how to voice his opinion, but he was sure she'd left it there.

()()()

According to Kate Fuller, if God existed her father would not have been dead and her brother would still love her and she would be with Seth Gecko, legally and happily.

Instead she is a seventeen year old runaway, her fingernails cracked and too much makeup on her face. She dances for these men, old and withered in motel beds. She runs their bath and becomes their temptation, their own personal curse, so much like Santanico was.

Kate knew what demons were, but she never gave a thought to how they became that way.

It's what she thinks about at night, when Seth is drugged up and she lies beside him, still dressed in the shorts she outgrew last summer, still wearing too much makeup. She thinks of how those people prayed to Santanico, saw her as their savior.

Silently, Kate begins to worship her too.

They're too alike for Kate to be afraid of her anymore.

When Seth rolls over, laces a heavy arm around her body, and leans in close to her neck, she smiles.

Kate believes she has found her God.


	22. Seven Devils

**Songs used: Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine**

()()()

 _"I don't want your money_

 _I don't want your crown._

 _See I've come to burn your kingdom down."_

()()()

Kate only has one bottle of nail polish.

Seth knows her, he at least thinks he does, and when she exits the drugstore with the first thing she's ever stolen he expects it to be tiny, insignificant. He expected a lollipop or a candy bar, maybe a soda if she was feeling good about herself. Instead, she produces a bottle of nail polish. The tube says "rainy daze" and it's the darkest shade of cobalt he's ever seen.

From her, he would've expected a bubblegum pink, maybe a chaste beige, but instead she's sitting his the passenger seat of his Camaro painting her nails fuck me blue.

Fuck me blue - that's something he'd never thought he'd think of, especially in the same sentence as Kate Fuller.

She finishes up and raises her hand, flashing him her long, blue fingernails.

"What do you think?" She smiled, almost wickedly.

"It's nice," Seth shook his head. He glanced at her again, the dark nails not quite working with the baby face in his passenger seat. "But it doesn't fit you. Should've gone with pink."

"I'm not tan enough for pink," she scoffed. "I'll keep it. Maybe I'll grow into it."

()()()

She doesn't score any more nail polish after that - just dry shampoo and Coca Cola. Kate keeps the blue on her fingernails until it chips off completely, and then she doesn't paint them again for a long time.

()()()

Months later, Kate declares a "me day." She shuts herself off in the shitty motel bathroom and draws a bath, lets herself soak in the tub for hours while Seth soaked in sin, thinking about her.

About tracing his hands over her soft, untouched skin. About sitting in that bathtub with her, about letting it overflow with bubbles. About touching her in places Kate Fuller had never thought about before.

When she comes out of the bathroom she's wrapped in a thin, worn towel. Her fingernails are blue again, her toes are too, and she smiles at him. Kate Fuller is wearing makeup, and he has no idea where she's gotten it.

"Been holding up drugstores for all their Covergirl behind my back, eh?" He teases her, looking anywhere except for her bare legs, her small back.

"So what? You've been doing stuff behind my back as well." Kate nods towards the bedside table, where he keeps the drugs, and gives him a small smile. "I can't believe you thought I didn't know."

Seth bites his lip, unprepared for a response that was so unlike that of the Kate Fuller he'd spent the last 9 months with.

She's begged him to stop in the beginning - the church girl had dealt with addicts her whole life, from her father to him - and it didn't look like it would stop anytime soon.

Kate knew better than to make him pick between her and the drugs - she's lived with her father for years, she knew what his answer would be. Instead she drifted along silently, glaring at him when he'd shoot up. Slowly, Kate started to spend more time alone, outside of the motel, or locked in the bathroom, and it was then that Seth fulfilled his need.

Although he never imagined what she was doing - Kate Fuller, robbing stores without him. He thought there was extra money coming in, but Seth had figured she'd taken a job somewhere - done something legal, for a change.

She sighs, knowing Seth has been silent for too long, and turns to face him. She catches him glancing at the place on her thigh where the towel doesn't meet for a moment, but then he looks up into her eyes.

He looks like a dog. A dog who's been kicked.

"I'm eighteen today, Seth."

"Do you feel any different?" He counters, looking at her as she drops the towel, as she slips on a pair of clean undies, not bothering to cover herself from him.

Doing quite the opposite, Seth reaches to pull a pillow onto his lap.

"Should I?" She sighed. "I mean, did you?"

Growing up with Uncle Eddie, Seth had been an adult long before he'd turned eighteen. He shook his head no.

"Me either," she smiled slowly, biting at her blue nails. She nods towards the beside table. "Want me to help you with, uh, _you know,_ tonight?"

Seth tried to hide his shock - she really did know more than he thought - but he nodded slowly, thinking only of her blue, grown-up fingernails raking across his skin.

()()()

When her birthday is over, things go on like they did before. Neither of them mention that night, when Seth got high and Kate slept next to him, her hand tracing shapes onto his back.

They move on to another town, another hole in the wall motel where nobody knows their name, nobody knows what they've done.

Kate lets her nail polish chip away, either bored of the color or sick of painting over the old coats, Seth's not sure.

He tries not to look at her with lust, she tries not to scorn him when he does, but old habits die hard.

()()()

Seth comes barreling into the motel room, shaking and breathing hard, his arms full of money.

"What happened?" Kate asks, running out of the bathroom.

She's in a towel again and Seth is reminded of that other night, maybe a month or two ago now, and he smiles.

Kate grabs his face.

"What the hell happened, Seth?"

She's checking him over for injuries and she's ripping off his shirt but none of it's in the way he imagined.

"I thought I could do it, Kate, I really did."

She's crying now too and demanding he stand up, he make it to the bed, at least.

Kate smiles through her tears. Seth Gecko is in her arms, finally, but he is high and he's been shot and there's probably a horde of Mexican cops coming their way right now.

She gets Seth onto the bed without any help from him.

His Kate is leaning over him saying "fuck, Seth" like it is some kind of new age prayer. For a moment, he's not entirely sure it isn't.

The bullet hit him in the arm, went straight through, and it's nothing Kate can't fix with a little alcohol. Still, he's higher than he's ever been before and she's not sure what got into him to make him think that he could pull a job, any job, like this.

"Fuck, Seth." She says, one final time, and hurries to the dresser to get vodka. Half the bottle goes on the wound, the other goes in Seth's mouth.

Her hands are shaking and she's covered in his blood, her towel turning red as she bandages him up. Seth smiles - he doesn't think he's ever seen her look more beautiful.

When she's done she lays him on his side - his good side, where the bullet didn't hit - and changes into her pajamas. She makes the mistake of thinking they're safe.

Kate wakes up to banging on the door as the police break in. Seth doesn't wake up at all and they drag him out to the cop car in a drug-induced, pain-filled sleep.

They leave her in the motel room and Kate thinks he's dead, she's sure of it, until a cop calls her the next morning telling her James Handler is awake, and the police want to see her.

()()()

Kate Fuller gets off easy. Partly because she is a pretty, young American girl but mostly because Seth convinced the police it was all him - he did the heroin, he robbed the store and, somewhere back in the US, he kidnapped her.

Somehow, Seth also convinced them that he was a Canadian named James Handler and not the infamous, but dead, Seth Gecko.

Seth gets 35 to life in a Mexican prison and Kate doesn't even get to see him. They let her go, back to wherever, and Seth is alone.

()()()

Kate spends months in that motel room hiding in his shirts, drinking all his beer. She pretends this isn't happening, that Seth is going to walk back through the door any minute. She doesn't eat, barely sleeps, and spends her days watching Mexican soap operas with the TV so loud her neighbors complain.

She can't call him, can't visit. God, she can't even get a letter through.

Eventually Kate can't pay the motel bill, and she skips town in the middle of the night.

()()()

She finds herself outside the Titty Twister, shrouded in self pity and begging for death. This is the last place Seth would want her to go, but here she is.

There are no bikes outside and no bikers in sight, no creepy man beaconing to her at the door. Then again, it is three in the afternoon. She cuts the engine on her car and gets out, heading inside.

The bar was just as empty inside as it was out, and she wondered if she and Seth really did put it out of business. She doubted it, though - the festivities just hadn't started yet, that was all.

Alone, she glanced around. The Titty Twister was exactly as she remembered - it was like she and Seth hadn't touched it, hadn't been here at all. They certainly hadn't made their mark. Kate had lost so much here, she'd left behind an entire life, but she'd started a new one as well.

That was gone now, too, and Kate was on her third life - if she was lucky, this would be her last one. Kate Fuller was content to die here, to wait for the culebras she'd spent months running from to come out and get their revenge. She crossed to the bar, pouring herself a drink, and found a table to sit at.

Yes, she decided, quieting the voices in her head, this was how she wanted to go.

()()()

Kate expected to be taken down by the culebras she knew, the ones who hated her - Santanico, Carlos even. Instead, the man who sat in front of her at the first sign of sundown was the last person she expected to see.

"Scott?" She said, her eyes wide. "Holy shit."

He looked surprised, taken back even, but recovered quickly.

"Wow, Kate," He smiled. "You are not the girl I remember."

She looked at him - his eyes wiser, older.

"You're not who I remember you being either, Scott." She smiled at him. "A lot can happen in a year."

"What brings you back here?" Scott asked, pouring her another drink. He glanced at the bottle - tequila, the heavy stuff.

"Can't you, like, tell the future?" She furrowed her brows. "I mean, don't you know?"

She figured every culebra knew about Seth and her, the ones who got away, the ones who fell in love.

"Oh, I know," Scott laughed. "Everyone knows. I just, I needed to hear it from you, Kate."

"Seth's back in jail." She sighed. "He took the rap for all of it, even said he kidnapped me."

"Technically, Katie-cakes, he did."

"I know," She rolled her eyes. "I just thought we were past that, that's all."

"The only part of the equation I'm missing, Kate Fuller, is why you're here." Scott raised an eyebrow. "I thought this would be the last place you'd want to see again, especially after sundown."

Kate took a deep breath, biting her nails. God, it sounded so dumb, so trivial,when she said it aloud.

"I'm...offering...myself." She looked at the marks on the table, tracing them with her fingers. "Scott, I want to die."

He didn't move, didn't offer her solace or condemn her. He kept his face even, unreadable.

"We don't want your blood, Kate." He smiled, reaching across the table to touch her hand. "This is not what Seth would've wanted."

her body shook as she stared at the ground. It took Scott a few minutes to even realize she was crying.

"It's like he's dead, Scott. They won't let me see him, they won't even let me write a letter."

"I know, Kate." Slowly, he moved towards her. When he saw she wasn't going to flinch, wasn't going to run from him, he put a hand on her shoulder.

Scott grabbed her sharply then, jerking her backwards in her chair, and leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"Carlos and I, we have a proposition for you." He said, his voice remaining friendly. "Culebra or not, you dance for him, and we break Seth out of this prison."

Laughing deliriously, Kate nodded. She bobbed her head up and down like a hula girl on a dashboard, smiling and shaking, her body still wracking with tears.

"Of course," She nodded. "Of course."

()()()

Kate danced that night, and every night, on the main stage - some kind of replacement for Santanico. They gave her a snake hesitantly, sure it would realize she was not a culebra and attack her, but soon enough it settled into her arms.

Even when Carlos and Scott left, gone to fulfill their promise and bring Seth home, she continued to dance. She worried that, if she stopped, this would all become some dream and she'd wake up alone in her motel room again.

She painted her nails and did her makeup and she allowed the other girls to ooh and ahh over her, over this light that she had, the one they saw that she couldn't.

When she got off the main stage, the feeding would begin. She'd hear their cries and screams and the gnashing of teeth and smell the iron in their blood - always tastier when they were excited, Scott would sometimes say. Kate didn't flinch, didn't cry out, only dropped to her knees and prayed. She still prayed, this forgotten preacher's child, she still asked God if there was another way he could bring Seth home to her.

He never gave any answers, none as clear as Scott did that day, and so she kept dancing, night after night.

And then he came home.

She saw him in the audience, Seth Gecko, sipping on a beer and watching her dance, watching the snake wrap itself around her body. He hated it as much as he loved it, he trusted these culebras as much as he'd trusted the guards of the prison.

It took everything in Kate's power not to stop dancing, not to run to him then and there, but she gave him a smile and a nod as she continued twisting and contorting up on stage.

There were moments when she didn't even look like his Kate anymore, but then he would catch a glimpse of her nails, that cobalt shade she'd shoplifted almost a year and a half ago now, and he'd smile.

She'd definitely grown into it, that was for sure.

()()()

 _"And now all your love will be exorcised_

 _And we will find you saints to be canonized."_


	23. Have you Seen me?

**A/N:** I am beyond excited for season 3 and, to be honest, I'll probably never be sick of this pairing. So, on that note, consider this anthology up and running again :) xx.

This story is AU in the fact that the whole "need some company" scene never occurred. Or, rather, it occurred in the original way that Tarantino had intended it: Seth leaves Kate behind at the Titty Twister to find her own way home.

Songs used: Have You Seen Me? By Nicole Dollanganger

()()()

 _"I've been wandering_

 _Out by the road_

 _Trying to get home."_

()()()

He has not seen Kate for 74 days - not since he left her there, standing in front of the Titty Twister, twiddling her thumbs.

Seth tries not to think about her, not to look for her in every hopeful, pale American girl he sees as he does his bar crawl across Mexico. He tries not to reach for her when he draws the blinds at night, under the stiff, stained covers of a motel bed that seems too big.

She's probably gone home to Bethel by now, picked up what she could of her life and finished her senior year. She's probably pushed the Titty Twister, and him, into some dark recess of her mind that she only visits when she absolutely must.

That's what he would've done, if he could, but going home meant going back to a jail cell so Seth stayed in Mexico, Seth kept robbing banks and bars and convenience stores and getting away with it.

When it got to be too much, he'd turn to something else, something harder than beer or liquor and closer than his dreams of Kate Fuller. Seth Gecko turned to heroine.

It was then, when he was drugged and tired and stuck in a self-induced haze, that Kate came to him.

He could feel her brown hair between his fingers, her dark orbs glued onto his. He could hear her voice, smell her perfume. It was like she had never left.

The heroine made it so he couldn't always get it up, sure, but it didn't stop the fantasies. He'd watch as she stripped for him, danced for him, as she climbed on top of him wearing nothing but her silver cross. He'd press his head farther into the pillow, he'd feel her breath on his neck.

Tonight, when Seth filled up the needle with his personal poison, he knew it would be one of those times. He hadn't gotten laid in a week or so, and he was itching for some human interaction - even if it came from a hallucinated Kate Fuller.

He laid back on the bed, let himself go, and drifted onto another plane.

When he woke up, he was not alone.

Kate was at the edge of the bed, her dark hair longer but her eyes still burning. When he saw her, it took everything Seth had not to jump out of the bed - seeing Kate was like seeing a ghost.

He thought he imagined it at first, but then her mouth opened and sound came out, and it was not the sweet, melodic things that he'd often dreamed of.

"Fucking heroine, huh Seth?" She growled, nodding towards the dresser. "That's really going to screw things up."

Seth rolled off the bed, pulling his jeans off the floor. He watched to see if she would look, if she would cast a glance in the direction he wanted her too. But Kate was stoic, her eyes fixed to his, and she remained the saintly figure he remembered her to be.

"I thought you would've gone home." He said, glancing at her face.

She'd lost weight. Her baby face was gone and replaced by angles, sharp lines and high cheekbones. To his shock, she was wearing makeup - dark, kohl eyeliner and deep lipstick, the sort of thing he'd put on Vanessa, but not her. Kate's hair was longer and lightened by the sun, her arms were thin and so were her legs. She looked weary, but strong - determined, maybe.

It seemed the past 2 months had been as long for Kate as they were for him.

"How could I go back?" She rolled her dark eyes backwards into her skull. "Half my family was gone. I couldn't just go back and live a normal life, go on like nothing happened."

Seth shrugged, pulling on a shirt and grabbing his gun off the dresser drawer. He sat in a chair, checking the bullets to make sure she hadn't taken any. Not that she would - the Kate he left behind barely knew how to shoot a gun, much less unload one. But this Kate was different; she had survived alone in Mexico for two months, and God only knew what she was capable of, what she was here for.

When he saw the cartridge was full, Seth was content.

Kate watched his movements, studying him the same way she had when he'd walked in front of her RV all that time ago. He watched his hand flick, seeing his body move as if he was no longer in charge of it, as he pointed the gun at her.

He was testing her, trying to predict her next move. And it made Kate grin sickeningly, as Seth felt bile rise in his throat.

Kate got on her knees, level with him, and walked towards the gun. She moved forward until she was directly in front of it, the skin of her forehead flush against the hard metal. He watched her, disbelief in his eyes.

"Do it," She grinned, sounding nothing like the Kate he remembered. "Blow my head off, Seth. Splatter me all over these walls, you know you want to."

"You're one of them." He swallowed, speaking unconvincingly. "You're a culebra."

"I'm not, Seth. I'm not and you know it. Else you would've done this," She nodded towards the gun. "By now."

"Else you would've eaten me by now." He scoffed.

"Even if I was, Seth, I could never touch you." She said, her eyes falling to the ground for a moment.

Seth lowered the gun slowly, and she sat at his feet, legs crossed, like some sort of pet. She leaned her head back against his knee, allowing them both to calm down for a moment.

It was Seth who broke the silence, always with harsh words and biting sentences, always with cruelty.

"What do you want?" He said, just the right amount of disinterest in his voice to anger Kate, to make her spin around and face him.

"I want you, Seth, I want your help."

"Why?" He asks, wondering what a heroine-addicted criminal could give her that a state trooper couldn't, that she couldn't get herself.

Immediately, he knew the answer.

"Half my family is still alive, Seth. I intend to find him." Kate raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to challenge her.

Just because he left Richie, left everything, didn't mean that Kate was able to.

She'd tried to, in fact, forget about Scott and culebras altogether - she'd tried to find her way back home. But she'd gotten as far as the border and found she couldn't do it, couldn't go on as if her brother hadn't existed when he was still out there, still living.

He was a sheep and she the shepherd - Kate fully intended to bring him back to the flock.

So she'd made up her mind and hitchhiked her way across Mexico, following the breadcrumbs of armed bank robberies all the way to Seth Gecko himself. Admittedly, he was ashamed he had left such a trail.

"Scott is gone, Kate." Seth shook his head, trying to rub away the headache that came with sobering up. "You have to understand that."

"I need this, Seth." She told him quietly, almost too silently for him to hear. In the background, the heater kicked on. "Maybe he's different from the others. I need to save him."

Save him. Much like Seth had saved her from the Twister, like Richie had saved Santanico. The Gecko boys had made a habit of being heroes lately and Seth didn't like it one bit.

"I'm not helping you track down a bunch of culebras, Kate. That's a pretty shitty way to get killed."

"So is a heroine overdose." She shot back.

Seth waited for regret, for some kind of remorse, to overtake her face and show him that she didn't mean it. When he looked at her, he saw no such thing.

So he frowned, groaning and leaning back in his chair. He pressed the back of his skull into the headrest and shut his eyes. Reluctantly, he reached into his pocket.

"I need to shower," he told her, tossing her a pair of keys. "Go start the car and wait for me there. It's the black Chevy in the back lot."

Kate bit her lip to hide her smile, nodding lightly as she bounced out of the room. The pep in her step was the first, and only, sign of the girl Seth had left behind, standing in the dust outside of the destroyed temple. Now she was different - stronger in a way, tougher, but unpredictable.

Seth rubbed his eyes - he should've just shot her, it wasn't like he had any chance at salvation anyway.

()()()

 _"I told him he could shoot me_

 _But for him I would not scream."_

()()()


End file.
